KoreanClass101.com Blog

Korean eating habits.

Rule number one: Shut your mouth.

Rule number two: Eat.

Rule number three: Enjoy your food. It’s insanely good.

Thoughts?

Typical eating habits in America include a lively conversation, witty remarks, and Matthew breaking all the ladies’ hearts an overall pleasant dining experience. Everything follows a prescribed rule and your actions are subtly noticed. Do you reach for the bill immediately? Do you order appetizers? Do you make a mess of yourself? Do you know the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork? Are you polite to the server? Do you talk on your cellphone at the table? Do you tip at least 20%? Do you chew with your mouth open? Do you finish the whole meal?

By and large, I find American and Korean table manners to be quite similar. All of the above questions generally have the same obvious answer as in Korea (other than tipping). However, three things have stuck out to me when dining with Korean friends. These aren’t hard and fast rules, but they differ considerably from I’ve come to expect at an American table.

Rule #1 - Talk is cheap.

Talking during a meal is by no means considered rude, but it’s not necessary. Traditional families of old Korea ate in near silence in order to fully appreciate the food, the ambiance, the experience. It was a time for nourishment - not for socialization. This tradition has watered down considerably but is still alive and well among most Koreans. I also find that my male Korean friends tend to be more reserved and talk less during a meal when compared with female Korean friends. However, one can still expect to eat somewhat more quietly than in America. If you find yourself eating with a friend or coworker and find the atmosphere a little thick due to lack of conversation, know that it might just be you. He or she might not be nervous; rather, the lack of conversation may not be due to the language barrier - it might just be because it’s time to eat. So don’t freak out and feel that you must initiate conversation. Think of it as simply enjoying each other’s presence. So next time when the atmosphere goes a little quiet, try a little slice of silence. It’s yummy.

Rule #2 - No, I’M paying for the meal.

We’ve heard before (actually, twice before) that “going Dutch” is not especially common in Korea. However, one must look deeper into the context because sometimes it can be common. For instance, if a group of similarly-aged university students share a particularly expensive meal, all might agree to share the bill. No one wants the other friend to bear the burden of paying for the entire meal - especially if this meal is not a common one. It’s understood that in a normal situation, the oldest would foot the bill, but since everyone shares a common social level (i.e. university sophomores) then insisting to pay the bill might actually make your friends uncomfortable. All of a sudden, when you whipped out your card in good will, the mood changes from equal-leveled brothers to what’s-this-guy’s-problem? faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind. Sure, if it were all 떡볶이 then nevermind, we can just say “thanks bro” and be done with it. That’s a cheapie meal. But, if you pay for an expensive meal when the bill is quite higher than usual, and the present company aren’t exactly business executives, then your friends might feel indebted to you. They know that they cannot repay the favor comfortably. Even if they pick up the tab at the coffee shop later, it still doesn’t even put a dent in the bill you just swallowed. So, even if you are feeling generous, and you’re the oldest, restrain yourself and take hints from the mood. If they genuinely resist your treat, play it safe and allow them the chance to save face and go Dutch.

Otherwise, in a normal situation, if you’re older, go ahead and pay away. A mental tab is made. He’s got your back next meal.

Rule #3 - Do not blow your nose. Ever.

Tearing a page from the book of Common Sense, one must strive to be polite whilst dining. However, prescribed notions of politeness might differ from country to country. In Korea, moderate slurping of the broth of a soup isn’t exactly rude. It’s not super common but not rude. For that matter, loud slurping of 비빔국수 noodles is considered a normal eating sound. Blowing sounds made from the cooling of hot 라면 noodles and boisterous 캬~ sounds made from consumption of alcohol are all quite common at a Korean table.

But. Don’t you even think for a second that you can blow your nose. Just don’t. What? No, no one cares that the soup is spicy and it’s making your nose run. No, no one cares that you’re eating 죽 because you’re sick in the first place. No, under no circumstances may you use a cotton-ply tissue in order to remove excessive fluids from your nasal cavity. Forget about it. It’s not going to happen. If you feel the need to cure your nostrils of an especially bad case of rhinorrhea, then by all means, excuse yourself, go to the restroom, and perform your dirty deed there. However, if you’re feeling brave and feel confident in your cat-like reflexes, bring a small tissue with you to the table, turn your head in shame, and wipe your nose discretely when needed, paying close attention not to employ sounds of nasal evacuation. Then, quickly discard the soiled cloth amongst your person without notice. But be warned, stuffing a used tissue in one’s purse or pocket in lieu of a trashcan may be acceptable in the States, but don’t let anyone catch you doing that kind of noise here. This is my house, son.

Thoughts?

Listeners Unite!

In part three of our Korean Stuff in Texas series, we take a look at beautiful Dallas, TX. As with the other parts in this series, there’s no way I can cover all of the Korean establishments in this fair city, but I would still like to share with everyone the places that I have come to enjoy.

Dallas, as one can expect, offers a bit more than, say, Denton. It’s a big city with a rich history. However, like Carrollton, it has a concentration of Korean businesses in a section of downtown known as Harry Hines and/or Royal Lane.

Harry Hines doesn’t exactly have the best reputation but it is what it is. It’s home to the best 노래방, 찜질방 and restaurants. Take the good with the bad, right? So, let’s take a look at the menu, shall we?

(download map)

- 노래방 - Family Karaoke - for twenty bucks an hour (half price specials on some weekdays) you can realize your lifelong dream becoming a K-Pop star in Texas (what? was I the only one?) Unlike typical 노래방 in Korea, there are no drinks allowed in the room but there is a full bar available. Hands down the best selection of songs, highest quality sound system, crazy comfortable rooms, two flat screens and an overall enjoyable experience. It’s clean and it’s here. No, it’s not exactly what one would expect to see or pay for in Korea, but it’s the cream of the crop for Dallas karaoke.

- 찜질방 - King Sauna - 18 bucks gets you cold and hot tanks, wet and dry sauna rooms, a movie room, 노래망, children’s play room, salt room, cold room, and more rooms than I care to count. It’s open 24 hours a day 7 days a week. The website does a nice job of introducing the basics of Korean sauna procedure as what to normally expect from a full service 찜질방. Those familiar with 찜질방s in Korea will surely feel at home with the service, snack bar and access to a men’s barbershop. The only real drawback is the price witch is substantially more expensive than the price of one of similar quality in Korea. However, if you’re looking for a genuine experience, look no further. It’s not humongous by Korean standards but by American sauna standards, it’s well above par.

- Restaurants - Too many to name, so I’ll just focus on my favorite. 소공동 Tofu House. This place will rock your socks. My recommendation? They have the best 순두부 ever. Spicy as all get out and cooled down with 도토리 공국수. It’s heavenly. Beautiful interior with a great atmosphere.

- 팥빙수 - This sweet sweet treasure of a dessert is readily available a nearby bakery. I have little else to say about the greatness that is 팥빙수. The bakery itself is a great little date destination. The little concealed booths are neat little feature that I have yet to see elsewhere.

- Grocery - KoMart -  This grocery store gets the job done but it’s nothing glitzy. If you need Korean food and you don’t feel like seeing every Korean person you know, then you come here.

That’s about it for the general course. Seeing how it’s Dallas, I’m positive there’s specialty Korean businesses for just about any type of service or product one could imagine.

Tune in next week when the lines of Korean and American businesses blur.

Thoughts?

Listeners Unite!

Part two in our Korean Stuff in Texas series. Today’s focus will be on Carrollton, TX. Again, this series is based on my own personal opinions and viewpoints. There is certainly plenty more to talk about but I’ll just focus on the few points that I’m familiar with. With that said, let’s take a look at something that is of interest to everyone!

Yes yes, the great equalizer. The grocery store. Young and old, rich and poor, everyone needs groceries. So what is a good ol’ country boy with a hankerin’ for some kimchi to do? Where might he go to get some delectable side dishes? Where can he find a bottle of the finest Korean spirits?

H Mart.

(full-sized map download link)

H Mart might have questionable financial backing, but it certainly is the Cadillac of Korean markets. It’s hard to find fault in all that is offered. Expect to come here and have your jaw drop.

A list of products available:

• American, Korean, Japanese, Chinese dry goods
• Crazy big produce section
• American, Korean frozen food
• Korean fresh fish market
• Korean, American alcoholic beverages
• Korean fast-food court
• Korean-style bakery
• Tapioca/Bubble tea stand
• Hello Kitty stationary store
• Korean furniture, refrigerators, sleeping mats
• Korean cooking, kitchen, bath goods
• Korean appliances
• etc

Products are fairly priced and the staff is quite friendly. The vast majority of workers are bilingual in English and Korean but there are also Spanish speaking employees, too.

Now, this doesn’t even include the small Korean business park located in the same space. Nearby you’ll find:

• Hairstylists, Barbershops
• Coffee shops
• Bakeries
• Restaurants
• Private Academies (학원)
• Bookstore
• Gym
• 찜질방 (coming soon)

What I like about Carrollton is, to the best of my knowledge, all of the Korean businesses are located in one spot. One can easily drive down to the business park to get a haircut, do some grocery shopping, and finish the day off with an especially good Korean meal. I always look forward to the drive to Carrollton because of the sheer convenience and shops available.

Stay tuned for next week when we look at the third largest city in Texas. As always, we would love to see similar videos about your local Korean town or Korean district.

Thoughts?

Listeners Unite!

direct link

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I want to take some time out from writing to share with you part one of a four part part series of Korean Stuff in Texas. These videos are to highlight four places in Texas where you can expect something Korean-related. I should mention that these videos are from my own personal opinions and viewpoints. Having said that, I hope that if you living or visiting any of these cities, you find the videos helpful.

Okay, let’s talk about Denton. It’s located north of Dallas. It’s the home of two universities: UNT and TWU. Although UNT currently doesn’t have any formal Korean language classes, it does have a whole mess of other language classes. Including one for non-native speakers. It’s an international student program affiliated with the university much like a 어학당. I should mention that if a student graduates from the six part IELI program, they are automatically granted UNT university student status. Meaning, they can now take UNT classes - undergraduate or graduate level. Not bad.

Denton has two Korean restaurants: Bulgogi House and Royal East Asian Cuisine. Here’s a map of the two places in Denton to grab some Korean food: download link

Like I mention in the video, don’t expect to pay Korean prices for Korean food in America. It’s not going to happen. But if you’ve never been to Korea, then dig in and enjoy Korean food. Your eating experience will only get better in Korea. Expect more food, more side dishes, served hotter, served quicker, and with a smile. In the meantime, these two places aren’t half bad. Hey, one is even walking distance from the university.

Well, that does it for Denton. Stay tuned for part two which has a big impact of those living not just in Denton but all of Dallas. If anyone else has some information about their own city’s Koreatown, feel free to post them!

Thoughts?

South Korean money.

Who doesn’t like a little green in their wallets? How about some yellow?

Yeah, some cold. hard. yellow.

That’s what the inside of Korean wallets will look like come late June.

Plenty of people are happy about this. Of course, some were concerned over the choice of the historical figure that will appear on the face on the bill. Yet, no one seems to mind these bills…

A 100 000 원 bill was almost approved, too (to replace those goofy “money order” notes). I guess it was too much to ask, right? Hey I’m not complaining, though. I’m happy that we have the 50 000 원 bill  at least. Before that, the largest bill commonly available was the 10 000 원. Not exactly convenient in large quantities. Yet the 10 000 note represents over 90% of all note production currently in Korea. If you think of the money as 1 USD = 1000 KRW then we had a buck, a five and a ten dollar bill and that’s it. Slim pickings.

Dissidents to the new bill say that seeing as how Korea is becoming more credit-centered, the new bill is moot. Also, the larger denomination might encourage counterfeiters. However, security features on the won are already impressive, all things considered. At least Korea doesn’t have the supernote to worry about. Instead, they had the dreaded 오천원 a few years back.

But the introduction of the new note won’t be a completely seamless transaction, it seems. Korean ATMs have to be fitted to accept the new bills. But, being a cash society Korea has already ran prototype bills through the majority of machines and assure that everything will run smoothly on release.

The new bills are also 6mm bigger. Hey, so long as the new notes fit in envelopes, then I’m happy. Exposed money in Korea is like exposed skin: you should cover it up as quickly as possible. And like a hiked-up skirt, staring at it is like staring at the sun. Come on people. Be decent, will you?

Also, like most mints, there will be an exclusive sale of the first 20,000 notes (minus the first 100 which will be sent to the Museum of Korea). Even though I’m into history like nobody’s business, I’ve always been a bit perplexed by unused currency being sold for more than their printed value. Remember when the new quarters came out? People were buying up those quarters on QVC like crazy. But doesn’t a piece of history have to first have a history first in order to be considered history? I’d rather hang a Where’s George? bill in my studyroom…but I digress. You know, I really shouldn’t be talking. I paid a pretty penny for a mint condition Final Fantasy III cartridge for the Super Nintendo a few years ago.

And my creditability just went down.

Anyways, here’s more info on the new bill production. For that matter, here’s a nice article with a brief history of the coin and paper money still used today.

Thoughts?

Friendship.

Man I’m getting deep. Friendship is no joke with Koreans.

Actually, that brings up a good point. Take a moment and analyze what the term means to you. Seriously. What is a friend to you? Someone you can tell everything? Someone you can spend time with? Someone you can drink with? Someone you love?

Even the term ‘친구‘ has different connotations in Korean. It involves so much more than just a smile and a commonality. Friendship takes a commitment. Friendship takes regular upkeep. Friendship is hardcore. But first let’s take a look at friendship in an American context.

In the English language, the term “friend” is used quite lightly. I’m meeting some friends for lunch can mean any number of things. You’re a good friend can mean anything from “thanks for being my best man in the wedding” to “thanks for opening the door”. I feel that we use the term “friend” somewhat freely. It can mean a classmate, coworker or even best friend. It’s all encompassing. It also doesn’t have any time-limitations. If you have only known the person for a month and you feel comfortable around them, then he or she can be classified as a friend. There’s no prerequisite for friendship. It trumps social class, age, and any other category.

By the same token, if said friend hits on your girlfriend at a party, you can drop him like an 8 o’clock French lit class. You don’t hate the guy but the friendship is over. Losing a friend can either be completely not a big deal to life-shattering.

Also, we don’t necessary need to keep up our friendships. Since junior high school, I have only keep in regular contact with one friend. Even then, we only hook up a few times a year for drinks. Yet, I consider him a close friend. Sure my situation may not be the standard but it certainly isn’t abnormal. When I run into friends from high school, I usually have a pleasant experience. We meet up, maybe go for a bite to eat, snap a photo, and part ways. No strong emotional connection but certainly a nice experience. It was good running into him.

In the Korean context, a friend is someone you trust. Like, for real. Someone whom you have a history with. As in, elementary school history. This person can generally do no wrong. When they do wrong, they’re still your friend. You feel connected to them. You served in the army together. You think of them often and make a point to let them know that you’re thinking of them. They require upkeep.

One must really take into consideration who they introduce themselves to. There’s a possibility of some real responsibility. Social networking sites like cyworld and facebook help maintain these friendships with regular “just-saying-hi” messages. Failure to leave these messages results in your Friendship meter going down. Oh, haven’t I explained the friendship meter? Well, have you ever played the Sims? Remember that little box at the bottom of the screen? Koreans have this little internal meter.

uh oh. I put 정 on the meter next to friendship.

Alright now stop. Hammer time.

Now, 정 is its own blog entry - and one that I will surely butcher. I have carefully avoided writing about 정 because it’s mad detailed and frankly, above my level of description. Even my roommate has trouble explaining it - in either Korean or English. Just know that it’s on my to-do list so expect an entry about it sometime around the next time Halley’s Comet passes by Earth. In the meantime, KC101 did a fine job of introducing the subject.

But Chinese typewriting aside, this friendship meter must be maintained. It may seem like an obvious statement but Korean friendships need to be maintained. I can speak for myself in that my American friendships need no or little maintenance. I feel free to come and go between friends without any repercussions or hey, why didn’t you call me? situations. Whereas in my Korean circle of friends, I must be conscious of their feelings. When I hang out with one friend, I build up our friendship meter (green). But, if a few weeks go by and I don’t call, text, hang out, or email, our friendship meter goes down (red).

This process occurs in real time with each individual friend.

The trade-off is that American friendships may seem a little wishy-washy and shallow to some Koreans and Korean friendships may seem like to much work to some Americans. In my own personal experience, I find that the Korean friendships are more meaningful and lasting. That isn’t to say that Americans don’t have lasting and meaningful friendships. Perhaps this is why I seek out more things Korean? Perhaps I have more in common with a Korean than a typical American? Perhaps the Sim meter exists in America but in a diminished capacity? I can’t help but recognize my own personal bias.

It’s touchy at best and messy at worst. Alls I can say is that hands down, the Korean idea of friendships is decidedly different.

Thoughts?

외기러기. Lonely goose fathers.

(part one can be located here)

So we’ve already covered the topic of the students who go overseas but what about the families left behind?

First and foremost, like the first discussion, this topic is quite broad and includes any number of scenarios. Also, the situation differs when the student studies abroad by themselves versus coming over with a family member or two. Having said that, here’s a oft linked piece from the New York Times that introduces the topic nicely. It’s warm and fuzzy.

High temperature fuzziness aside, we typically think of the father left in Korea while the mother and children study abroad (if thinking about school-aged 유학생). These fathers continue to work in Korea while sending money to the rest of the family as they study abroad. It’s also very possible to send the kid away to live with other family members, leaving the mother and father in Korea. Regardless of the age of the student, it’s not exactly what every Korean family member looks forward to. But don’t worry, it’s not like it’s a long-term solution, right?

Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon to see families separated for years at a time. It’s not that there’s a lack of love. Far from it. Think of it as a logical business investment. If the kid has an opportunity to speak English and Korean fluently, then they’ll have a leg up on the competition. Makes sense, right?

Actually, it does. But that’s the perplexing thing of it. I mean, it would be perfectly logical to do plenty of things but that doesn’t mean we actually do them, right? Buying 50 of the same style of shirt makes fiscal sense because you’re likely to get a discount - but would you actually want to wear the same style shirt over and over again? So, in the same vein, even though the kid will be marketable, wouldn’t you rather spend quality time with them? Will they even recognize each other years later? Is it really worth it? Are you providing for their emotional needs as well as their academic needs?

As one can imagine, this lifestyle of working and coming home to an empty house can be quite trying. A detailed look at this movement is right here for your reading pleasure. Oh, I guess I’ll be nice and also throw in a one-two punch: foreigner-perspective and Korean-perspective. I’m nice, aren’t I? Also, here’s a great Korea Herald post about an idiot’s guide to sending your family overseas success story from an everyday man who’s lived the life. Oh, and keep in mind it’s not just the working class that is affected by this phenomenon. 김흥국 was featured in a 2008 English language human interest story (video version).

It’s also vital to view this ideology from a Korean cultural lens. It’s stating the obvious to say that education is a powerful internal motivator for the vast majority of Koreans. It’s easy to dismiss any side of the argument from a foreign perspective (i.e. lazy momma’s boy student can’t hack it overseas and a cold, authoritarian father is just trying to one-up his drinking buddies). Where education and family start and end is a little blurred, though. I understand it but can’t honestly say that I would be able to do it myself. I’d like to tell you that I’d acculturate myself enough to have the strength to send my kid away. Like a temporary sacrifice for the greater good, right?. But, like all things, it’s a choice and it’s not an easy one. But it’s not hard to see one counter argument: what’s the point in making a home for a family that’s never there? Is it serving the family’s needs? Does the kid need this experience in order to be an adult? Even in a situation where the mom and daughter live in Korea while the father and son live in America still has a whole lotta “not good” going on. When it’s all said and done, was it all worth it?

So in summation, it’s complicated and plenty messy. It also has the potential to crank out some culturally and linguistically diverse individuals. It also is a recipe for divorce and enough stress to fill an empty home. It’s a trying period for anyone involved. However, I’d wager that out of the tens of thousands of families affected, many will be richer for the experience. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right?

Thoughts?

유학하다. Studying Abroad.

(Part one of two)
Where to begin? It’s a detailed subject with more asterisks and mixed emotions than I care to write about. I leave it up to the professionals. What I am curious about is the sheer number of 유학생 and how the number is growing each year. And if you thought that this is a recent trend, think again.

As you can imagine, the culture shock that ensues is pretty much on par with any weapon of mass destruction. I can think of few other cultures more polar opposite than America and Korea.

When the students arrive in their new home, there’s a developmental term that comes to mind: goodness of fit. Think of it. If a student always dreamed of a life of independence, self-reliance, individualism, and not-giving-a-flying-**** about what people think, then America will welcome you will open arms. You’ll be right at home.

However, for others, the life abroad will be too trying - much like a second term of mandatory military service. The isolation, culture shock, confusion, frustration, and shattered expectations will be something that make one miss Mom’s 김치 like never before. Plus, add to the equation English must be spoken pretty much at all times. That’s enough to stress any non-native speaker out. And why aren’t Americans speaking like they do in the textbook??

But like all things, there are exceptions. Some initially find themselves lost and frustrated but eventually find America to be their new home. Others will never fully adjust and will ultimately find a way back to Korea at the soonest possible opportunity. It was just never a good fit for them. Like a bad breakup…It’s not you, it’s me. Sorry America, I’m just not that into you.

Others are torn between obligation and choice. Some students are so pressured to stay in America after studying that they soon find themselves caught between two choices: do the right thing for my career and parents or go back to my home and live the life that I want to live. Not exactly a clear-cut choice to make. Both have life-long ramifications.

After coming back to Korea for a period of time abroad, some find that their “Koreaness” (for lack of a better word) has changed. I guess that’s what five years abroad does to a person. Others dig in in their new home abroad and find that Korea makes for a great vacation spot.

Here’s one possible explanation: (forgive the lack of documentation - this is just based on my own observations)

It’s no secret that young Korean students have a grueling academic schedule. Blame Confucius.

What does this crudely-made graph mean for us? Let’s consider two scenarios:

- - -
A - 현철 - “The Lucky Duck”

현철 was born in Korea and went to school in Korea until the end of fifth grade. Then, he and his family moved to America. He then attended junior and high school in the states and excelled academically. While studying in America, he maintained his Korean language and culture because of his family and local community. But, since he attended public school, he also developed relationships with people of different ethnicities. His Korean background made him rather unique to his friends. His impersonations of his mother are the stuff of comical legends. After high school, with his fluent English language skills, he moved back to Korea to attend a Korean university. He took a break to attend the Korean military and after completion, he finished his degree. He maintained his relationships in America and used them to further his own business, which he he now owns in a suburban city in America. Since he speaks colloquial English and Korean, his business caters to two very different demographics but with similar means of living and purchasing patterns. His business is doing just fine if you ask him.

현철 ended up avoiding the entire Korean 학원 system. He rejoined the Korean education system when things got a bit easier. Not to mention he caught the more relaxed side of each country’s education. But because he studied abroad and could speak English fluently, he was admitted to a decent university. Although his military assignment was a little taxing, he fully acculturated himself into both the American and Korean society. He is free to travel to and from Korea to maintain relationships in both countries.

He’s a lucky duck.

B - 은혜 - “Can’t catch a break”

은혜 was also born in Korea. She completed primary, middle, and high school in Korea. She then traveled to America by herself to attend an American university, but because of her poor English language skills, she had to first enroll in an English language school. After three and half years of formally studying English in America, she graduated from the language only to find out that her family wishes her to stay in America to complete her university degree. Although 은혜 had hoped to return to Korea, she decides to err on the side of prudence and pursues an American undergraduate degree. She spends the next five years hammering out a degree but because of the sometimes difficult academic English, she struggles to maintain respectable grades. She definitely works for her “C”. She graduates and discovers that the Korean economy is in worse shape than the one in America. Oh well. Might as well go for the master’s degree now and hope for things to improve in a few years. She can always get married later, right?

She spends ten years in a foreign country away from her friends, family and life as she knows it. Although she has developed a strong sense of independence that she did not have in Korea, she wonders if live in Korea will be like she even remembers. Not to mention that she attended the more difficult portions of Korean education only to find out that American universities are pretty competitive. Although her English is quite fluent, she lacks some of the more colloquial speech required to catch certain jokes and insults. Although this doesn’t alienate her completely, her accent doesn’t exactly make things easier for her to make American friends. Plus, even if she had time for boyfriends, American guys are kind of out there. Not exactly her type.

She can’t catch a break.

- - -

Granted these scenarios are just that - scenarios - but they’re not entirely far fetched. I would be lying if I said that these aren’t based on personal stories. Besides, the point is that all of their changes took place when they studied abroad.

But studying abroad, as common as it is, involves more than just the students. Regardless of age, these students have parents. And sometimes these parents don’t go abroad with their kids. So, what exactly can we expect their lives to be like?

Check back here next week for part two. Until then…

Thoughts?

The Month of May in Korea is often called Family Month. There’s Children’s Day, Parent’s Day, and Teacher’s Day. Korea takes Mother’s Day to a whole different level! On these days you give your Children, Parents and Teachers gifts to show them how much you appreciate them. Children often benefit the most with candy and money being popular gifts. Teachers get quite a lot of gifts as well as they have many students and parents to receive gifts from. And that’s why the month of May is called Family month in Korea!

Well… did you learn something new about Korea?

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Children’s Day. May 5.

Again with the Love Day reference, this holiday is dedicated to the cute little monsters that plague the countryside and cities. It was founded by the Korea’s answer to Dr. Seuss back in 1923. Its fascination by well-written foreigners knows no limits. Pack up the aspirin because it’s going to be a long day…

Thought Korean kids were spoiled? Today you are so right. Today, Korean children are calling the shots. Highways packed, zoos overcrowded, ice cream screaming for its life…poor little vanilla never had a chance…there will be sweets consumed today. Oh yes. There will be sweets.

Speaking of spoiled, it might benefit everyone to take a moment and analyze why exactly this is the case. I mean, by some Westerner’s standards, Korean kids are little princes and princesses. We have a maxim in English that comes to mind; “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. Well, plenty of Americans think that this is crap and it basically sets the kid up for failure in the future. I can speak for my family in that my parents did like many others by not giving into a child’s demands. But can I just say that I have been asking for a trampoline for Christmas since I was like four? Lousy Santa has been holding out on me…

Anyways, this cultural difference begs to have another idiom throw around “Can’t see the forest for the trees”. The problem lies in the timing. Korean parents know what they are doing, just as in America, but it’s done a little bit later in life.

In America, we stress at a very early age to be self-reliant. If a five year old can’t tie their own shoes, most would agree that it is better to teach the child as soon as possible instead of just tying it for them. This transition period where the kid can’t figure out why on earth his shoes aren’t already tied (he did say ‘please’ ) is very common in America. It takes a bit more time to teach instead of simply doing, sure. It is stressful for the child and adult but ultimately follows a normative cultural expectation. Remember “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll feed himself for a lifetime.” It is in the child’s best interest to learn as soon as possible. Similarly, when a kid acts up in the grocery store, American parents are generally quick to reprimand the child with negative reinforcement in hopes that in the future they will become socialized. I myself once received some negative reinforcement in the form of my mother walking away in disgust whilst leaving my father holding me in his arms crying bloody murder, my big brother eating a box of not-yet-purchased saltine crackers in the shopping basket, and my oldest brother shrieking in terror over the little cartoon devil on the Deviled Ham package. Oh good times at the Piggly Wiggly.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Well, this is the same in Korea (socialization, not deviled ham). The ultimate goal is to socialize the child. However, until a child in Korea reaches a certain age, they can get away with (relative) murder. Why?

Simply put, their little lives will suck later on in life. Korean adults know this. They know the pressure, they know the concern, they know the shock that will ensue once they hit junior high. So what is a caring parent to do? Let the kids enjoy their childhood. When viewed through a different set of cultural lens, this makes perfect sense.

So, the timing is a little different - American kids get socialized pretty early on while Korean kids get a free pass until primary school. But make no mistake, Korea has social etiquette down to a science and, frankly, puts America to shame in the formal manners department. This isn’t to say that Americans are inherently rude, but it’s a little unfair to battle hundreds of years of detailed, refined social hierarchy. Oh well. We invented the chocolate chip cookie. Live with that, world.

So days like Children’s Day are to celebrate children and allow them to enjoy pleasant memories with family relatives. Yes, a day for children to run free, play games, and just be kids. Just don’t forget the aspirin.

Thoughts?