KoreanClass101.com Blog

Fan Death.

One of the most tongue-in-cheek moments that expatriates have to share is the beauty that is fan death. So cast away science and come with me on a fanciful journey to discover why exactly these sweet little fans are harbingers of death.

To understand fan death is to understand that there are several different theories as to why four small moving blades equal certain death. The more scientific sounding, the more convincing. Also, consider the fact that Korean homes are, in general, smaller than Western homes. Also, it gets crazy hot in Korea. But, enough about me (puns are just rolling today) let’s talk about the theories. But keep in mind, I’m way late in posting this. These comedic claims have long been the fascination by foreigners. Here’s an article from 1997.

One such theory involves hyperthermia. Fan blows on person, person gets hot, fan blows recirculated hot air over person, person gets more hot. Repeat. But don’t get sold on the theory because another theory claims the exactly opposite: hypothermia. Fan blows on person, person gets cold, fan blows recirculated cold air over person, person gets more cold. Repeat.

Soak that in.

Another involves carbon dioxide buildup if left directly facing a person’s body for a prolonged period of time. This hits home for me. Tangent: All of the men of my family have this “bad” habit of sleeping with like a half dozen or so electric fans on at night. Even in the winter. It’s true. I always have a few fans on in the room when I sleep. I like the wind, the white noise from the fan, the circulation - so much so that I have trouble sleeping at night if I don’t have at least one fan facing me. Even in the winter. So, to my future wife, here’s a heads-up - sorry to be a little weird about fans. Bundle up, honey.

There’s also some pretty outrageous beliefs which I think have all but disappeared - only to be replaced with more experts professing the true reason why you’re going to die in the quiet comfort of your own bedroom. Some of these older theories include the fan blades cutting and mincing oxygen particles leaving nothing to be inhaled but fragments of air. Think sloppy seconds for your lungs. Another goofball theory is that the fan death rumor was created by the government in a scheme to reduce consumer electricity demands. My personal favorite is the vortex theory: the fan creates a partial vacuum in the room causing you to suffocate.

Sure, it’s pretty ridiculous. Conservation of matter demands a much stronger machine in order to effect change to the surrounding air pressure. Translation? An oscillating floor fan is not powerful enough to create a vortex.

So, by and large, sorry to disappoint, but fan death is fake. Rest assured (haha, get it?) you will not die in your sleep from that little plastic round guy that makes your voice sound awesome when you talk really close to it.

But I can see the connection. Honestly. News: A man is found dead in his apartment. The cause of death is not readily available. Neighbors get curious and see the paramedics working. Neighbors ask what happened are are met with “We’re not sure at the moment” but the wise old neighbor down the hall confidently proclaims “Must have been the fan”, which, as it turns out, is still running. *Dun Dun Duuun* Now, two independent events (mysterious death and fan running) are linked. But for this story to work, you would have to conclude without any real logic or method. Or just be an idiot.

Remember the Simpsons episode where Homer wanted to buy Lisa’s rock? The one that keep tigers away? In it, Homer proclaimed that because of the Bear Patrol and no bear in sight, the Bear Patrol must have been working like a charm. Lisa applies the same logic to conclude that a random rock keeps tigers away (after all, there were no tigers). Sure, I butcher the comedic timing, but this comparison is not unlike fan death and reinforcement over decades. A mysterious death in the summer results in media hysteria and “experts” claiming to watch out for the warning signs of fan death. The vicious cycle continues.

It’s comical but also kind of real in a small margin. So long as a certain number of factors are played in. For example, the EPA recommends not to use an electric fan in an enclosed room without outside ventilation during warm weather. This makes sense, as the warm air being circulated essentially acts like a turbo oven pushing ever-increasingly warmer air across your body which could possibly result in either asphyxiation or hyperthermia. It’s a stretch but an understandable concern. I’d like to think that the person trapped in the room wouldn’t be held against their will - just open a window. But to be fair, this argument for the validity of fan death has already been made and is one of the best written articles on the subject. But I wonder when will the debate be truly solved?

I have the utmost confidence that Korea will continue to make strides in the area of scientific research and development. Others are seeing hope, too. And far be it for me to criticize Korea or any other country for its false claims on anything. It’s easy to be convinced by anything if one hears about it enough in the news - be it ridiculous claims about English teachers or vengeful electronic fans. I believe that any group of peoples are influenced by not only their own beliefs but also reinforced by their own media, too. Before Americans get too quick to judge Korea for some backwards-thinking theory on common household appliances, I would like to just say one thing:

Y2K.

Thoughts?

Laughing.

Ah, a universal form of communication. Laughter. How could anyone possibly screw this one up? I mean, it must be the same everywhere you go, right?

Leave it to Korea to make things backwards. Other than the standard laugh that occurs when something funny happens, Koreans (to include other Asians) might also laugh when embarrassed or nervous. But here’s the thing, it looks like it’s funny…but it’s not.

Scenario: A foreign businessperson approaches his secretary and asks why the report he asked for is late. She responds by quietly laughing. She just remembered that he asked for it yesterday. So, in embarrassment, she does the one thing that will surely make him upset. She has grin on her face. He looks like he’s ready to punch the wall.

In the Western sense, it almost sets up the offended party to retort with “Oh, so you think it’s funny?” thus escalating the issue. But when viewed in respect to saving face, this makes total sense.

It reminds me of Ralph on the Simpsons when he sees that drunk Krusty the Clown impersonator. “He’s still funny just not ha ha funny”. In the scenario, the secretary is laughing at the embarrassment of being irresponsible. But the exec takes it as she was laughing at him. Or perhaps he’s just a little perturbed that instead of an apology or a quick reaction to fix the situation, her initial instinct ws to do something seemingly inappropriate and unprofessional. Even if she were laughing with him, it would still be a little out of place in the Western work environment.

It’s comforting to know that typically when trying to save face, the nervous party is not laughing at you. It’s just that when pushed into a corner, sometimes the only thing to avoid losing face is to grin like an idiot. Like a “I’m laughing at myself” type of laugh.

In conclusion, if you find yourself getting laughed at, take a quick step back and discover why someone might be laughing. If your coworker is smiling like he just finally figured out where the beef went, maybe it’s because you set him up for it. So cool down, analyze the situation, and move past this situation as quickly as possible.
For someone working with Koreans and find themselves puzzled by other such curious situations, I offer this book.

To that, I leave you with this. Laugh away. Or cringe. Whatever. And if that doesn’t do anything for you, just watch this. I like to talk over the footage with my own voices…that’s something we can all laugh at together.

Thoughts?

The Presidents of the Republic of Korea. 대통령.

This can be a hot topic because people of different backgrounds and age groups differ heavily on how each president is remembered. Moreso, with each new president, former presidents are remembered somewhat differently. For that matter, there are criteria for judging presidents.

Korea has a relatively short democratic history and an even shorter “real” democratic background. In just sixty years, there have been over 200 major political parties come and go. Also, one of the obstacles democracy faces in Asia stems from long-standing authoritarian tradition. Add to the mix Korea’s not-that-far-behind agrarian and colonized history and you’ve got a recipe for political instability. But, far from impossible, many politicians have been up to the task. According to Kim, democratic Presidents have three fundamental, sequential tasks while in office. The third can’t successfully be obtained without the second, and the second can’t exist without the first:

• national security (internal, external war)
• economic welfare (infrastructure development, public services)
• political development (freedom, individual rights)

Keeping these tasks in mind, I want to refrain from placing myself on either standpoint but I do want to try to at least give a brief overview of this important office and why you should care nowadays. Also, in an effort to be impartial, I will make an effort to provide equal amounts of criticisms and achievements. Keeping the mudslinging to a minimum, let’s take a look.

이승만 - 1948-1960

Syngman Rhee held a provisional post before the creation of what we today know as South Korea. Although he succeeded the popular and tragic political figure 김구, Rhee was quite accomplished in his own right and was an obvious candidate for the newly created Republic of Korea. As a young politician, he was a political prisoner for seven years before being released. He is best known as the first president of Korea and for carrying the country during the Korean War. His fresh new ideas and staunch anti-communist platform came at a crucial time in Korea. His relationship with the United States was vital to American involvement in the war. In addition, his academic career was equally impressive. Graduating from both Princetown and Harvard is not a bad thing to add to one’s résumé. Although he was democratically elected, he altered the constitution to remain in office quite a bit longer than the usual seven year term (now five year single term). In addition, after successfully leading South Korea before, during, and after the war, his politics soon fell out of favor was eventually forced to step down by a sweeping majority and subsequent student uprising. He lived the rest of his life in exile and died in Hawaii five years later.

박정희 - 1963-1979

Park Chung-Hee took power in 1961 in the form of a military coup. He held much more power than 윤보선, the figurehead president who took over after Rhee’s departure. A former general, Park ruled with an iron fist and a well-defined agenda. His anti-North Korean stance was well received; he believed that the best way to demonstrate superiority and security from North Korea was through economic strength. Thus, his main policy was economic independence through exports and heavy industry. Park is fondly remembered for his well-executed economic reform. His policies helped modernize Korea into better shape than before the war that left it in a state of poverty. Unfortunately, his presidency is equally remembered as authoritarian and heavy-handed. His censorship tactics were brutal and often inhumane. He left little room for professional criticism and democratic thought. His Yushin Constitution led Korea in a war-like state of emergency which granted Park with excessive political power. He survived two North Korean assassination attempts, one in 1968 and another in 1974. The second attempt missed the president but instead hit the first lady. His wife passed shortly thereafter. Regrettably, Park was assassinated in 1979 by the head of the Korean CIA. His legacy has often been the subject of great controversy.

전두환 - 1980-1988

Chun Doo-Hwan seized power from the former prime minister who became president after Park’s death. Like Park, Chun was a military general who ruled with a similar economic agenda as Park but with a focus on stability instead instead of growth. He also spearheaded a major advancement in research and development in the fields of technology and telecommunications. He is pleasantly remembered for his role in hosting the 1988 Seoul Olympics. This event eventually had the support of the entire country and resulted in numerous infrastructure improvements such as the Han River Development Project and the 88 Olympic Expressway. Although not as physically imposing like his predecessor, Chun had big shoes to fill but still held his position effectively. He improved Korea-Japan international relations and repeatedly stressed that he would step down once his single-term was up. However, like Park, he was the target of an assassination plot that went sour and sadly resulted in the death of his wife and several other officials. Most unfortunately, he was among a group of politicians who were held responsible for the military’s brutal role in the Gwangju Democratization Movement (also known as the Gwangju Uprising). This event is still regarded as the most tragic lose of civilian life in Korea since the Korean War. After his term, it was discovered that Chun and his family had embezzled hundreds of millions of dollars while in office. In addition, in 1996 he was found guilty and sentenced to death for his role in suppressing the Gwangju Uprising. He was later pardoned and has since been out of the political limelight.

노태우 - 1988-1993

Roh Tae-Woo succeeded his mentor and close friend, Chun. They were both high school friends and eventually served together in an elite paramilitary force. His temperament was decidedly cooler than his predecessors. During a particularly violent student riot in June of 1987, Roh, then just a presidential candidate, addressed the nation on national television with an eight point agenda to fix the country. Almost immediately, the rioting ceased. Unfortunately, the arranged election time for the National Assembly coincided with an unfavorable time for the government and resulted in the dissident minority party gaining a majority of seats. What did this mean for Roh? His legislative goals were stopped at the National Assembly floor because they came from the other party. Ouch. Also, he was not particularly interested in the economy, a policy that the Korean people had long been expected to be maintained. However, Roh was greatly interested in improving relations with North Korea. His Nordpolitik was achieved via trade relations with Beijing and Moscow. Although he promised a lot in his campaign to a lot of different people, he reported carried a black notebook around and once quoted from it when questioned about his effectiveness “I made a total of 459 promises…of these…a total of 175 have been completed and [an additional] 273 are in the process of being worked out.” Even though Roh was the first president to usher in a peaceful democratic transfer of power since 1948, both Roh and Chun were of the same political party and the legitimacy of the handoff has long been questioned. Also, like his predecessor, he was found guilty of accumulating a 650 million dollar massively illegal slush fund and was sentenced to 22.5 years in prison. He was later pardoned but his legacy was forever tarnished.

김영삼 - 1993-1998

Kim Young-Sam came into the political scene as a young and ambitious dissident. At 25 years old, he was the youngest elected assemblyman to ever serve in the National Assembly. A dynamic man, prior to becoming President, he was put under a two year house arrest and then went on a 23 day hunger strike in protest of President Chun’s policies. Stricken with 대통병 (President disease) he soon set his sights on the office of the President. He would be come the first civilian president in thirty-two years. He charged to create a new Korea although he lacked any real administrative experience. Also, his cabinet appointments were less than qualified to lead the country. If that weren’t enough, he “borrowed too many brains” by frequently reshuffling cabinet members. Stressing mass political reform, he led by example; he swore off golf, replaced fancy Blue House meals with simple dishes, and ordered the Presidential guest villa to be demolished. At the peak of his popularity, he pushed a new open and transparent banking system that relied on real names. This act resulted in over 1000 public officials throughout the country resigning from their post or forcibly sent to prison for various related illegal activities. His anti-corruption campaign spread to the military further forcing resignations from another 1000 or so officers in addition to revealing the 142 names of the secret paramilitary force 하나회. Unfortunately, for all of his crusading, he was alarmingly inexperienced in economic matters. Instead, he pursued OECD membership. His passionate demeanor sometimes worked against him as in 1994 when North/South Korea relations were at an all time low. A thick air of mistrust and possible nuclear war was on the brink until a joint North/South meeting was arranged with former American president Jimmy Carter as mediator. In fact, a historical North/South summit was set to take place July 25th 1994, but North Korean leader 김일성 died on the 9th. Regardless, Kim’s economic negligence came to an apex with the 1997 IMF Crisis. He stepped down as one of the most unpopular presidents.

김대중 - 1998-2003

Kim Dae-Jung did not have it easy. He was placed on house arrest several times by President Park. He was imprisoned by President Chun. He was kidnapped by the KCIA in Japan and brought back to Korea. He has been referred to as the Nelson Mandela of Asia. A life-long freedom fighter, at age seventy-three, he finally became President by a skim 1.5% margin of victory over 이희창. Kim had studied and lived in the United States, an experience that served him well as President. He cleaned up the IMF mess by insisting on 재벌 (corporate) restructuring, government reorganization, and a labor/management compromise. His DJnomics shook things up all over the country with little regard for the long-term effects. Furthermore, Kim insisted that he would help break down a long standing tradition of regionalism. Most notably, his Sunshine Policy aimed at amicable trade and cultural exchanges between North and South Korea. Emotions ran high on June 13th, 2000 as Kim flew to 평양 for a historical summit meeting which resulted in a five point agreement between the two neighboring countries. For his efforts, Kim was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. However, his popularity in Korea was quickly deteriorating as juicy scandals and ineffective policies came to light. His Sunshine Policy was angering many South Koreans as it seemed one sided tilted in North Korea’s favor. In 2003, it was estimated that one out of every five families could not pay their credit card debt - a result of his short-term and short-sided economic policies. Also, his administration is widely believed to be the most corrupt in modern Korean history. He left quietly office amid serious doubts about his legacy and passed away in August of 2009.

노무현 - 2003-2008

Roh Moo-Hyun - the self-made human rights lawyer who climbed his way up the political ladder. His meager upbringing and underdog political status did not exactly pave the way for his future as President. However, he was known as a man of transparent good character and an all-around upstanding citizen. At the time of his election, the public wondered if he could be as effective in the inside as President than when he was on the outside as a dissident. Roh represented the 386 generation of Koreans and promised change and reform but soon his policies were questioned. His controversial and extravagantly expensive proposal to move the capital was not well received. Roh was also quite possibly the most Anti-American President ever - coinciding with one of the most Anti-American protest movements in recent history. Overall, his job performance wasn’t exactly regarded as effective, though it’s far to point at that the cards were stacked against him in some ways. Regardless of his politics, he tragically shocked the nation by committing suicide this past May. His passing closes a possible chapter in Korean political history - an ex-president who could achieve more out of office (arguably much like former American President Carter) or at least live out post-Presidential life in dignity. He remains an enigma.

이명박 - 2008-present

Lee Myung-Bak was the former mayor of Seoul before making his mark as President. The “bulldozer” also holds the distinction of being Korea’s youngest CEO at age 35, just eleven years after starting work for the Hyundai group. Recently, President Lee donated approximately 90% of his accumulated wealth to set up a scholarship fund. Well done. As mayor, 2MB initiated a rather controversial revival project that, $900 million dollars later, is known as 청계천. After his stint as mayor, he campaigned on his 747 economic plan which was met with hope and caution by the voting public. Even more skepticism was aimed at his Grand Korean Waterway - a project that would link 한강 (Han River in Seoul) and 낙동강 (Nakdong River in Busan) at great financial and environmental cost. Surprisingly, Lee recently dropped all plans of building the canal during his term. As if to really change things up around, his foreign policy, known as the MB Doctrine, is rising eyebrows on at least two continents. Furthermore, Lee has limited freedoms of assembly and press on more than a few occasions as well as having a rather extreme religious stance of both anti-Buddhist and borderline fanatically pro-Christian. He’s not exactly liked by the Korean gay and lesbian community, either. President Lee is controversial and conservative at best and Korea’s answer to Dubya at worst. Only less than two years into his presidency, Lee has plenty of time to make either great strides or costly mistakes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I know that politics can sometimes seem to be about as fun as calculus, but I can’t help but be fascinated with Korea’s history. It’s dynamic, dramatic, and riddled with broad achievements and epic failures. It shows so much promise and so much growth in such small amount of time. I’m impressed how far Korea has come politically since my grandfather’s generation (Korean War). I certainly welcome any dialogue about this subject as it is of great interest to me.

Thoughts?

Metal Chopsticks.

It’s not exactly a Korean meal without the deliciousness touching a little stainless steel. The evolution of the chopstick is here and now. Gone are the wasteful wooden or flimsy plastic sticks. We’re talking streamlined cutlery goodness: Chopsticks 2.0 for the masses.

For sure, it’s a curious conversation topic for some time now. But, truly, the history behind such a common eating utensil is actually pretty interesting. Enough to make a great lesson plan with some great facts at the end (take note of page three). In fact, it’s been rumored that former President 박정희 (Park Chung-Hee) is credited with introducing metal chopsticks to Korea.

I would venture to guess that many Westerners would never think twice about why the chopsticks are made of metal and why the type of rice eaten might determine the type of chopsticks used. For that matter, it’s a stretch for the common Westerner to know the difference between short and long grained rice. Myself included. But, it’s not so strange to think about the evolution of American utensils. The steak knife, anyone?

Another explanation is that before the modern stainless steel chopsticks were introduced, silver was used. According to myth, silver chopsticks would tarnish if poison was found in the King’s food. Therefore, it was not just economical but for safety sake. Leave it up to Koreans to think of a better way of testing of poisoned food. Didn’t the royal courts of the Dark Ages have royal food testers? What a crummy job to get off of Ye Olde Craigslist.

But what about the wee ones? Don’t they already have it rough enough? I mean it seems that all they hear is leave that alone, don’t pick that up, don’t put that in your mouth, and why is your face turning blue? but now we have to add to that equation the seemingly impossible of learning to use metal chopsticks, which if you haven’t used them, tend to be on the slippery side. But, like tiny masters of their craft, they get good real quick, or else that sweet sweet 김치 goes uneaten. A powerful motivator indeed.

Metal chopsticks are here to stay and they are awesome. Glad I’m not the only one whop thinks they are flippin sweet. They’re more economical, washable, designable, and elegant than their wooden brethren. I suppose plastic comes in at second place, but really? Who wants the silver medal when it comes to food?

Thoughts?

Business relationships.

You know the whole “It’s nothing personal - it’s just business” saying that we have in English?

Yeah, not true in Korea.

Cold calling? Door-to-door? Directory assistance? Are you kidding me? This is the land of social networks and personal relationships. Korea is a never-ending web of social connections. And you’re just trying to close a sale? Move along. Korea’s looking for a long-term business relationship. One that requires someone to navigate the and nurture the relationship from within Korea. A lifer.

Korea is a place of great economic clout. The little country that could is carrying a big stick and should not be overlooked or doubted. Like Taiwan and Singapore, Korea is one of the few Asian countries that came out strong after the 1997 IMF crisis. Nice job guys. Pat yourself on the back. And believe you me, Korea didn’t get to be such an economic bad mamma jamma without a little personal touch to business. So how does one get into the door of Korean business?

It’s all about who you know. If you went to elementary school with some mid-level business exec and twenty years later you want to try your sales pitch on him, you’re much more likely to get the account versus someone else with a little more to offer for a little less. Why wouldn’t the company just go with the most profitable service provider? Korean rule of thumb: Good relationships are good business and they supercede the bottom line. If nothing else, their business loyalty is impressive.

And to think I haven’t even got into the myriad that is contracts and Confucian history. In Korea, contracts are seen as starting points to negotiation and shouldn’t be taken in the same sense as Western contracts. Remember, in Korea, people are more important than what is written on a piece of paper. American dependence on written contracts and inflexibility is quite remarkable if looked at in this light. Korean negotiators historically have balked at Western reliance on paper contracts instead of verbal and non-verbal agreements. This translates to a Korean business pulling out of a sign, sealed deal moments before the deal was to be announced. Why shouldn’t they have the freedom to do so? Their intuition is more trustworthy than a piece of paper - regardless of what it represents. Such is business in Korea.

This “personal” approach to business has some baggage, no? It’s easy to see why the personal touch is frowned upon. Some foreigners are a bit candid in their observations and while I’m sure shady business relationships aren’t just exclusive to any one country - let alone Korea.

So take it from the Michael Scott school of business - keep it personal. If you get your foot in the door, dig in like a tick and be prepared to spend some after-hours with your new business partners. Because your relationship with them is the lifeblood of the deal, contract, and all other considerations. Think not of your life as a separation of business and personal - here they intermix like orange juice and toothpaste. Get used to it, partner.

Thoughts?

Saying hello.

Okay okay, everyone knows it by now. I’m about as country as they come. I open doors for women, I tip my hat to old people, and I say “howdy” to everyone I meet. Laugh it up and move on, city boy.

Where I come from, saying “hello” to everyone is considered normal, if not polite. If I’m in line at the grocery store and I see my friend and his family, it’s normal for him to say hello to me and then perhaps introduce my relationship to his family. “Hey Matthew. Good to see you. Dad, you remember Matthew? We went to junior high together. Don’t you remember? He was the one who cried in his sleep…you remember taking him back home during that sleepover in sixth grade? The one who was apologizing the whole way home?” Yeah. You know, totally normal stuff.

But why do we do greet each other so frequently? Granted it’s not everyone. It’s not happening in every city in the country but the act of introducing oneself when approached by a friend who is in the company of other friends is very common. I’m not sure even if we think about it. It just happens. I walk up, I say what’s up to my buddy and he tells me who his friends are. We shake hands or just say “what’s up” and we’re done.

But really? Why do we do that? As Americans, why do we say hello to people that we don’t know? We’re probably not going to see them again. Even the checkout counter people at Target ask us how we’re doing today. Like, why? Would it matter if I’m having a horrible day? Isn’t my “bad day” money just as welcome? What if we just stopped saying “hello” to random people? Imagine the marketing fallout…

If we were to follow this “not saying hello” thing, we’d be right at home in Korea. It’s not that people don’t say 안녕하세요 to each other but the context is a bit different. One doesn’t have to say hello to random people if the situation merits no conversation. If you sit down in a restaurant, you don’t have to say hello to the server. Quit being such a noob and just order. Doing otherwise at every single establishment would get tiring after a while, wouldn’t it? So try a little something different. When in Rome…

As we have looked at before, being introduced to another person in Korea can be a big deal. Introductions to a new person opens up a new web of social networking and it potentially requires more attention and work on your end. Another person, another responsibility. Sounds like a bit much just for running into someone at the store, doesn’t it? Therefore, stay out of it. Allow me to demonstrate.

Scenario: “A” knows “B” and sees “B” at the store with “C” whom “A” does not recognize. “A” says hello and “B” breaks away from the conversation with “C” to talk to “A” briefly. “C” stands there like an idiot. “B” doesn’t introduce “C” to “A” and eventually says goodbye to “A” and goes back to the conversation with “C”. “C” cries himself to sleep.

Obviously “C” is a overly sensitive foreigner who needs to grow a pair but you get the idea. But, even some foreigners are getting used to this lack of casual introductions, much to other foreigners’ dismay, of course. Again, I present the side that most foreigners are not acutely aware that they even naturally want to be introduced or self-introduce whenever possible. I will simply say that some foreigners are more pre-disposed to do this but certainly not foreigners are happy balls of social friendliness dying to talk to any and all people he/she meets at the supermarket. To make such a blanket statement does not apply.

In conclusion, it’s not that Korean people are more rude than other group of people (although some still question this) it’s just that Korean cultural expectations are different. That’s all. I personally believe that Koreans can be among the most generous and friendly people on the planet……that is, second only to Texans, of course.

So, I ask this. Do you find Korean people more willing to say hello in the country versus the city? Do you see no real difference between saying “hello” and saying “안녕하세요”? Have you experienced the whole “not-being-introduced” thing, too?

Thoughts?

Woah.

Did I just go there?

It’s true. I know it’s a sensitive subject. I may not be able to do this delicate matter complete justice but I do want to resume dialogue about this matter. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. However, like always, I pledge to be open-minded and sensitive. But, I will have to at least recognize some differences between American and Korean ideas of healthy body types. Please take this entry as my own opinion sprinkled with a generous serving of sarcasm. Eat up. It’s good for you.

It’s safe to conclude that neither country has a single, uniform opinion about what a healthy body looks like. For some, it’s being dangerous skinny enough to shop for summertime bikinis in the toddler section. For others, it’s all about how happy they are inside and has very little to do about their outward appearance. Healthiness and sexual attraction also don’t always line up equally. But, aren’t women naturally suppose to be more curvy? Wow, second paragraph and already I’m wincing. I’m getting uncomfortable just typing about this.

Matter of fact, let’s just go ahead and set the thermostat to “Chilly” cause it’s about to get cold up in here. I volunteer myself for this next example. I’m 6 feet (1.8 meters) tall and always a little short of 180 pounds (80 kilograms). For many, I’m considered to be fat among Koreans. Soak that up.

At my current body type, I’m by no means scrawny. By the same token, no one would consider me obese. However, by and large, in America it’s not crazy to consider my body type to be quite normal (if not skinny). Now, on the lifestyle side of things, I would consider myself on the healthy end of the spectrum. I was a vegetarian for years, I’ve never smoked, I jog regularly, I eat lightly and frequently, I avoid soft drinks and candy, and I drink a crazy amount of water everyday. However, apparently I’m some gargantuan foreigner with an insatiable hunger. Feed me Seymour Korea.

My first encounter with my own personal grossness of a body occurred just a few years ago. When I met my first Korean language tutor, after a few meetings, she and I ate lunch together at the university sandwich shop. While waiting in line and deciding which sandwich to order, she turned to me and remarked “Are you sure you’re hungry? You look like you’re already full.” At which point she poked my stomach. At least I have a nice personality, right? Thanks 누나.

Culture shock, anyone?

For Koreans, first of all, fatness is not a taboo subject like it is America. It gave my tutor no pause to talk about my stomach. We weren’t even very close at the time - Hell, I had practically just met her. Was my stomach really that huge? Was it the age difference? Was it just her?

Nope. I’m just a monster. Apparently my beer gut is the stuff of legends. What is a “M” waist size in America is an astronomical “XL” here in Korea. “M” no longer stands for Medium….more like Monster. Another horror story comes from my encounter at a top-notch Korean resort. While searching for a few chairs to steal for the my group’s table, a small group of high school girls stopped to stare and remark about my body. They laughed, pointed, and talked about my gut. I believe the word “pregnant” was used. Now, at the time, my Korean was not perfect (will it ever be?) but it was good enough to understand the general point of what they were saying (let alone the body language, right?). But, I should be fair in saying that I was the only visible foreigner at the resort on that day. I’m sure that played a role…but then again, maybe my Robin Williams-like forest of chest hair scared them…

Moving on.

But it’s one thing to be skinny and another thing to be healthy. They don’t always mean the same thing. Being skinny does not make one healthy and being healthy does not make one skinny. If someone is genuinely overweight, it’s also fair to say that they might feel a little sensitive about their weight. It’s a valid struggle to maintain a healthy lifestyle whilst still maintaining a lifestyle that fits everyone’s tastes. In my case, my answer is to avoid Western food and eat Korean food - it’s delicious, healthy, and good for you. But not everyone digs on soybeans, tofu, fish, and levels of spice that are only rivaled in deepest depths of Hell. I respect that.

But in Korea, there are lots of skinny people running around. Really, there are.  Seriously, look at this chart. According to the data, two out of three people in the United States are considered to be overweight or obese. Good job, everyone.

Finally some data so you can justifiably hate on them scrawny girls in 신촌… Just makes you want to eat a double cheeseburger and glower, doesn’t it? Coming from America, I’d just assume be pushing the scales like the rest of my countrymen. Maybe that’s why I don’t particularly notice other Americans who are overweight. To me, it’s just one aspect of a person and not that big of deal. But looking at the data on the chart, I can see why Koreans might be acutely sensitive to people who are overweight - foreign or otherwise.

This discussion requires a deep understanding of the sociological and cultural pressures that Koreans are subjected to, and I’ll go ahead and not volunteer myself for that. When backed into a corner, I refer to the smartest Kiwi I know. In absence of greatness, I concede that Korea has obvious cultural pressures to be anything but overweight. It can’t just be the natural diet of the people; while Korean food does, in my opinion, tend to be closer on the healthy side, we’re still talking about a land filled with enough Dunkin Donuts, 삼겹살, and 우동 to adequately fill the gullets of the masses to unhealthy proportions. So, something else must be going on. Will we ever know for sure know what makes Koreans so paper thin? Social Pressure? Good genes? 김치?

As I’m sure most of you can guess, I’m confident and happy with my own body type. Sure, I don’t look like Brad Pitt but honestly I’m not worried about it. To me, there’s more to life than being thin (or being among socially acceptable levels of “skinny”). After all, if I had a chance to either lift weights or spend time with my family, I’ll pick the latter any day of the week. But, like all things, it’s all about balance, isn’t? For me, the balance comes from being active, eating right, watching my sugar intake, jogging, and having a healthy and accurate self-image. By no means do I see myself as overweight. I urge those who do place external pressure on people who are a few sizes short of a “zero” to examine why they do so. Whose needs are trying to be met? Does such pressure really do anything other than make the other person uncomfortable?

Rant over.

Thoughts?

Tipping and VAT (부가세).

In America, it’s what we do. We tip. It’s a short discussion at the end of a meal, but just like the credits at the end of movie, who really sticks around and pays attention? Leave the tip and be on your way. Who cares? Answer: anyone who’s waited tables before. The tip makes or breaks a server’s day. A generous tip will make your shift 20x more tolerable and a dinky tip will leave you wondering why you even try to be nice let alone flirt with that girl who was clearly not your type.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah the analogy. So, if we follow the movie theater comparison, then Koreans hit the road as soon as the guy gets the girl and doesn’t so much as stick around to see who directed the flick. In short, tipping in Korea is MIA. So what about America? What’s normal?

Forget the old 10%. That’s cheap. 15% is what I’d consider leaving for a grouchy-pants-McGee server. No, in America it’s hard to argue against leaving at least a 20% tip. It’s the right thing to do. Don’t think of it as extra - realize this “extra” cost before you buy the service or product because to leave anything less is just rude in my book. If you can’t afford to leave a decent tip, buy something cheaper. It’s the unspoken rule - tip. But, who and when does one tip? Thankfully, there are even specific situations where a tip is explicitly advised so as to not have any confusion as to how much and when to tip.

But, dear readers, I’m here to tell you shocking news about tipping in Korea.

*gasp* tipping in Korea does indeed exist. In a way. I know everyone says that Korea is a no-tip country but there are, in fact, some instances where tipping is appreciated - dare I say expected? For example, exceptional service merits a generous tip when the employee has gone above and beyond his or her job description.

But what about this whole VAT business? It’s already in the cost of the product. If it’s a Korean product, it’s usually 10% tacked on at the end of the bill. This VAT acts as a safety net and face saver. Fear not about tipping in these situations because the staff is already getting a cut from that tax. So in a way, you did tip them. But, times are a changing. Consider this the next time you’re in a place where tipping would be appreciated. Keeping in mind that sometimes tipping is not only a little weird but rude. It’s a tricky balance - and one that I have yet to strike.

So in conclusion, if you’re going to tip and it’s appropriate to do so, regardless of what country you’re in, don’t be stingy. Tip and tip well. Did you have a good experience? Was the server nice? Did you get your food in a timely manner? If not, did the server try his best? If so, tip generously. Altruism is good thing, you know? I mean, what’s two or three extra dollars to you? To the server, that’s lifeblood. If everyone tipped just a buck or two more, maybe the server wouldn’t have to work doubles and thus, be in a better mood when serving you and thus making you tip him or her more. Karma works both ways you know.

Thoughts?

Korean Flight Attendants

I hate traveling. Driving is lame. Airports make me nervous. Airplanes provide an expensive and ultimately unsatisfying napping experience. But on a Korean company’s airplane, you will find little to complain about (other than the fourteen hour flight). Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the fine men and women that make up the flight attendants of Korean Air and Asiana Airlines.

Let’s talk about the flight attendants. They are young, let me tell you. Younger than their average Western counterpart. I don’t have numbers to prove it (which is usually a bad sign, but hey) but think about it. American flight attendants are working a job. They represent a fairly broad age demographic - some young, some old. It’s not that big of a deal because it’s like any other industry - new blood coming in while veterans retire thus keeping the cycle going. But apparently these young Korean flight attendants are like high school football stars in Texas - once you get a certain age, your chance is blown. You had one shot while you were young and once you’re done, a new, younger generation replaces you. Kind of harsh sounding, isn’t it?

For that matter, I see a much larger proportion of female flight attendants. Where’s all the guys? Strange, seeing how male flight attendants are in demand. Perhaps it’s like the teaching field - always a demand for quality male teachers but a short supply of young men who want to commit to teaching. I’m seeing a recipe for disaster…and wouldn’t you know it? Korean Air has had a troubled past regarding their hiring practices. Let’s hope that things have changed, yes?

But what about these hot young things? What makes them so worthy of a lowly blogger’s attention? Come on, people. These women aren’t born, raised, and groomed to be flight attendants. But something about those uniforms… Oh keep your minds out of the gutter. I’m not talking about how cute they are (which they are). But the aura of service they radiate is almost intimidating. Their attention to small details, pleasant demeanor, and unyielding veneer of professionalism is admirable. Even the male attendants have this dignified charm about them. They truly are the color of perfection or so says last year’s advertising campaign. Hey that’s a whole lot better than their first slogan.

But make no mistake, they are watching you as close as you are watching them. It’s just that they aren’t checking you out - they’re looking for potential risks and in my case, a potential husband. They are trained professionals and not just eye candy for your extra long trip. I mean, wouldn’t you want someone who was working a 14 hour shift to be on their guard for some goofball on the plane? Keep up the good work.
As someone who lives for good service (come on, who doesn’t it?) I absolutely love the service on Korean flights. They know you’re going to be on the plane for an eternity anyways, so might as well make it comfortable. Touch screen monitors, good food, decent leg room in coach, and unlimited supply of movies in Chinese, Japanese, English, and Korean. The only thing missing for me is a commons area to stand up and have a drink with fellow passengers (too much?). That would be awesome, though.

So, in summation, for someone who hates to fly, I love flying Korean. I’d live on a plane if I could. What are some of your experiences on an international Korean flight? Good service? Bad service?

Thoughts?

Korean post production.

It’s annoying as all get out. It’s unnecessary. It’s shiny. It’s colorful. It’s embarrassing. It’s a staple. One cannot watch Korean TV without noticed the astronomical amount of post production. You’ve seen it - even if you never noticed it before.

May 12 1956 marked a special day in Korean history. The event? The first Korean television broadcast. Small but soon to become a mind-numbing ritual for families all over the country. This ingenious invention might not have inspired the miracle on the han but it may have at least entertained the masses.

Now, it doesn’t take much to know that much of early imported media came from Japan. Yes, Korea’s history with Japanese media is rather interesting given the general misgivings of the past. That said, it’s easy to look at Korean TV post-production and conclude that it’s a carbon copy of some other country’s technique. But you’d be wrong. You haven’t seen my list, yet. I’ll break it down so you can easily identify the particular “tracks” that are exclusively used in Korea (oh yeah, it’s going to be one of those posts). In order to fully appreciate this post, one must have seen at least one original Korean show be it game show, variety show, or contest. A few starting places would be 무한도전 aka Infinity Challenge, 일박이일 aka 1 Night 2 Days, and 미녀들의 수다 aka Talk With Beauties.

Care to take a look at a sample list of techniques employed by the good people in Korea?

- The Laugh Track - 

This can be as simple as a prerecorded audience laugh or as complicated as being filmed in front of a live ostrich. Either way, the laugh track is a sort of cue system to allow the audience at home to know when it is appropriate to laugh. It also functions to fill the air with the awful stench of bad cheese. It’s tasteless and ruins any pathetic attempt at a real joke. But, that’s just the thing - Korean audiences are lively and their laugh track is diverse. There are several different canned laughs and a few high pitched female “우~~” tracks that get played pretty regularly. Where did this idea even come from? Who in their right mind thought this was a good idea? Actually, the history behind the laugh track is actually pretty intricate. Take a minute and discover the controversy over one of the most annoying aspects to television. Then, go back to the ostrich. Because that is funny.

- The “Oh no he didn’t” Track -

This one can only be explained by typing the following: “Ooooooo” which is not at all the same as “Ohhhh”. It usually comes at a time when someone said something goofy. Or scandalous. This track is also similar to the “Oh, so surprising! He’s such a nice guy” track which usually comes out in interviews with quiet members of boybands. It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?

- The Closed Caption -

These courtesy captions are cute and feature highlights and other color treatments. They help people like myself read along while listening. Of course, that’s not why they are there, but they are a peculiar thing, aren’t they? Think about it. Someone’s job is to add these little one liners to every single show… how would you like to graduate from a prestigious university and tell your buddies at a party “Hey, you know those insistent little words that pop up during talk shows? Yeah. That’s me“. Sucks to be you, guy.

- The Batman Caption -

Pow! Bam! Kaboom! and other such classic lines graced audiences in the 1950s with Batman starring the legendary major of Quahog, Adam West. It seems the dark knight’s influence has found it’s way to the shores of Korea in the form of onomatopoeia goodness. They highlight a nasty fall, a kiss on the cheek, a slurp of a drink, and the sound of food cooking. They serve no purpose. These are my favorites. 짱!

- The Sparkling Effect -

Ever notice when that good looking guy enters the room, there’s Vaseline on the lens? That would be the 반짝반짝 effect. Magical, isn’t it? It just makes all entrances better, doesn it? These little blurry stars come out in full slow motion (black and white optional) to enhance a brave deed, sweet moment, or special guest. They even make me look 10% cooler than I really am. Cue the theme song ♪♪…Almost paradise…♪♪

- The “Say Whaaat? ” Repeat Effect -

This is the one where the shocking statement or quick comment by the person you least expect gets repeated thrice. It is by far the most unnerving aspect of post production. Like a Michael Bay action sequence that gets the hero jumping from the exploding building from every possible angle, this effect repeats the same audio but using three different camera angles. I actually like it because if someone was talking or laughed, I can always catch the joke the third time around.

Don’t lie. You love it, too. These and more is what makes Korean TV enjoyable. It’s just not exactly the same other places. I know I’ve left out a few other essentials (like the question marks that pop up over someone’s head, the bizarre sound effects, and the hyperactive and over enthusiastic hosts) but you get the picture. I love Korean TV and I’m not even a huge fan of American TV. Some might be shocked to know that I haven’t owned a TV for quite some time - but of course I still catch The Office online, though.

Then again, I suppose it’s not exactly appropriate to compare American TV and Korean TV without coming up with a list of why apples are better than oranges. Like spicy food, it’s up to the particular person’s own personal taste to determine which dish is more palatable. So, I ask you kind souls of KC101, do you enjoy the spice of life (also known as Korean television?) or do you prefer the hamburger and milkshake of mass entertainment media?

Thoughts?