The Foreigner Card - pros and cons of using it in Korea
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009Preferential Treatment.
Clearly, I’m not talking about a green card. I’m talking about preferential treatment when faced with an unpleasant situation. It’s a time when cultural or linguistic negotiation has failed (or will fail) and the foreigner makes an ace-in-the-hole plea. Think: Come on buddy cut me some slack, will ya? but in a foreign land.
It’s not just Korea, obviously. Expats in South America and China also have pondered this point (although some literally have a card). Pulling the foreigner card is vital to an expat’s survival but it’s not to be overused. Perhaps it shouldn’t be used at all?
Like any card game, the Foreigner Card has it’s time and place when to use it. You wouldn’t want to use it when the outcome could adversely affect you.
Yeah it gets you out of going to 회식 with coworkers you don’t like. Sure it allows you to leave the lunch table before your boss. It even lets you sit in the senior citizen bench on the subway. Granted you’ll get stared at like no one else before you but at least you’ll be the youngest person sitting. Thanks Foreigner Card!
But do you really want to be that guy? The one who has the rules bent for him? The guy who gets away with murder at the office? The one that has special privileges and less responsibility than the rest of the staff? You actually want to be that guy?
Well, yeah. Sometimes. Sure. It’s nice to be able to do things that other people don’t do. It’s nice to get out of some boring meetings that others have to attend. It’s nice not having to do anything other than smile when asked for a report. But, it excludes one from the group. It further alienates one from one’s coworkers. It darkens the line between ‘외국인’ and ‘one of us’.
Perhaps you were never part of the group in the first place? Perhaps others played the Foreigner Card before you and set you up to be treated differently from the rest. Regardless of the reason, as a foreigner living in Korea, it has it’s ups and downs.
I personally try my best to do whatever is expected of me. Outside of extreme embarrassment, I try not to pull the Card. Not only do I feel that it’s the polite thing to do, I have a particular affinity for Korea so I try to include myself whenever convenient (and frequently, inconvenient). Like everyone else here, I do some things here that I would never do back home. I could get out of them by pulling the Card but many times I choose not to do so.
So when should I? When must someone pull the Foreigner Card? Personal space invasion? Excessive alcohol consumption? Forced solo singing at 노래방? Eating with chopsticks? Not drinking water? Speaking Korean instead of English? Corporal punishment?
Thoughts?
Posted by Matthew in How Koreans Do It |
December 1st, 2009 at 8:25 pm
OMG there’s a Magic: The Gathering foreigner card. It has a high casting cost, which may make it inconvenient to use. Can the Foreigner Card be used as as a fast effect, or is it more like a Sorcery, which can only be used during one’s main phase?
And that concludes this total, over-the-top nerd out moment.
Seriously, you bring up a lot of good points. Like you, I try not to make waves, and while I know I will never be seen as just another worker/teacher (which in itself has its pros and cons), I try to go with the flow and not “darken that dividing line,” as you put it. I make a point of staying to the end of a 회식, though in the past I have left with other foreign co-workers early, if they demand that I join them in creating a “united front.” However, I always played the Foreigner card when after 회식, my former (borderline?) alcoholic boss would drag my young, Korean male co-workers out for a night (and morning?) of drinking.
As foreigners in Korea, we do have the “lucky” Foreigner card available to us, but in some ways it balances out the unfortunate history of Korean bosses taking advantage of their foreign workers. So in that sense, it may balance out…
With all that said, my advice to a newly arrived foreigner in Korea would be: attend your 회식s until the end, politely accept a few drinks at the 회식 (but get skilled at hiding your glass…), try to get used to Korean food so you don’t appear stand-offish (unless like me, you don’t need to be told twice to chow down that 불고기 and 김치), sing that solo at the 노래방, bow to the boss, be the first one to make conversation with your Korean co-workers, and otherwise try to take the job seriously. Those things, which may seem silly to some foreigners, will be the oil that keeps your workplace running smoothly.
In fact, you may even find some of those things enjoyable. Singing at the 노래방 with your co-workers will break the ice, eating free food is always a plus (and double for me when it’s good Korean food!), and your co-workers are probably very interesting people. I came to Korea partially to experience a culture very different from my own. I figure I have the rest of my life to paddle through the familiar waters of Canadian culture. Why not have some fun during these years?
But, draw your boundary when it comes to drinking and excessive overtime. Those are my boundaries. There may be more that I can’t remember right now. Any other suggestions for common sense foreigner boundary-drawing?
December 2nd, 2009 at 4:25 pm
First of all, mad props for designing an M:TG card for the situation. You have a knack for using humor to disarm people when discussing sensitive issues.
I have an overall negative opinion on the whole concept of excusing yourself from an activity based on your identity as a foreigner though. It reinforces stereotypes in the minds of Koreans that foreigners are a homogeneous group with characteristics similar to those that appear most often in western media. To use the example of spicy food, wouldn’t a foreigner from India, or Mexico, or even the southwest United States be likely to eat spicy food as a regular part of their diet? Besides that, there is no standard specification sheet for foreigners that states what they do and don’t do. The real reason why a foreigner might be uncomfortable eating spicy food could be that is does horrible things to their digestion. It’s better to tell other people that you interact with on a regular basis the true reasons for your actions than to hide behind a blanket statement like, “I do this because I’m a foreigner”. I’ve heard time and time again from Koreans how they were surprised to find that individual foreigners were so different from one another once they got to know them.
You can play the game and use subtle tactics if you feel that being overt about explaining why you are a special snowflake would make you stick out too much, but explaining yourself with the foreigner card has got to be as mystifying and frustrating to Koreans as the classic “This is part of Korean culture” explanation is to foreigners.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
As a foreign exchange student, I absolutely loath when fellow exchange students play the foreign card. I think koreans play the foreigner card for us allot of the time anyways so using it is not neccesary. definetly my experience as a student will be different than that of an english teacher though.
I guess the closest thing I do to playing the foreigner card, is I ingore all the annoying old people who always assume that if I am waiting at a bus stop, I dont know what bus I am taking. after saying “I dont need help.” “I know where I am going” and then “dont talk to me” in korean, I pull the foreigner card and pretend to not understand “어디 가?!” in any language.
December 3rd, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Wahh I thought I was the only KoreanClass101.com student who knew what M:TG was!
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:52 pm
I didn’t have to pull the foreigner card when I was in Korea…it’s like people expected me to be dumb. Like Steven said, Koreans often do it for us. I was given free drinks if I looked thirsty, I was given free fans if I looked hot (I am fat in Korea), and most of the time I was spoken to in English even when I first spoke Korean to someone…especially in the subway station. How is that the subway stops are announced in English, cell phones have subway maps on them, and there are maps above the doors of subways, but I am still asked if I understand what stop I’m getting off at?
Have previous foreigners been THAT dumb or is the stereotype for Americans that we are all deaf, blind, and stupid?
December 4th, 2009 at 11:46 am
@ Daniel - No my friend. The over-the-top nerd moment came when anyone who read this post smiled not because the photo was funny but because they wanted to have the card for themselves.
The important thing, I feel, is that you have clearly outlined your own boundaries. I agree that not eating 김치 and not singing a single song at 노래방 is considered a bit rude here, I must respect it because I can’t say that I would do the same in some other country with different expectations. I’m biased because I like Korean but what if Indonesia had some wild tradition of dancing in front of people at dinner? Count me out. I’ll sing but under no circumstance should the world be subjected to my dancing. I care about humanity too much.
@ Jeff - Thanks for the kind words. I try to soften squirmy topics whenever possible.
While we can both agree that the age-old “This is part of Korean culture” explanation is totally BS, I still say that there are plenty of homogeneous-like behavior that many foreigners practice. Public nudity in the sauna, sitting on the floor, drinking in excess, eating spicy food are all examples that apply to many peoples but certainly not all. I agree that foreigners encompass countless different heterogeneous cultures but on occasion, we tend to agree on certain things. Having said that, I’m fine at the sauna, I eat spicy food well, and I can sit on the floor quite comfortably. However, other foreigners may not like to and it’s important to respect their ability to pull the card when they feel uncomfortable.
@ Steven - In that bus stop situation, could it possibly be that those Koreans are simply demonstrating the infamous Korean hospitality? Uncomfortable as it may be, I appreciate it. It does hurt my pride a little when someone tells me “Welcome to Korea! Where are you going?” as if I just hopped off the plane. It’s a bit insulting in that respect but I certainly appreciate the sentiment.
@ Stephanie - I can honestly say that certainly some foreigners have been that clueless prior to coming to Korea to warrant such a stereotype. It’s no fault to them, I suppose but it has made things a bit perplexing. It’s also probably a mixture of ignorance of foreign cultures, as well I’m sure.
December 4th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Matthew - Dancing in front of dinner guests in Indonesia, you don’t say? Well, I’d be the one to push you on-stage, haha.
In Bali, just avoid places/parties where you see a lot of bamboo xylophones being brought - this is an indication of a joged performance, aka “Balinese Disco”, lol.
December 4th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
And not “disco” as in a bunch of people dancing at once - this one’s just you and the dancer, buddy
December 8th, 2009 at 3:55 am
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December 12th, 2009 at 7:54 am
I wonder who that poor fellow in that card is… and if he knows that he’s being epitomized by the whole of the intranets as THE foreigner in Korea…
btw, great post Matthew!
December 18th, 2009 at 11:46 am
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December 22nd, 2009 at 1:54 pm
In my recent six weeks running around, my experience was mostly that it was played for me. The only time I found it useful was when someone wanted me to shove a whole, live octopus in my mouth. and yes, when sitting on the floor. I was fine in 2006 but I’m getting older and my hip really wasn’t up to sitting cross-legged this trip.
Otherwise, I didn’t need it. But then I try to be as culturally sensitive as I can in general.