Sucks to be you - Korean attitudes towards being fat, skinny, and everything between
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009Woah.
Did I just go there?
It’s true. I know it’s a sensitive subject. I may not be able to do this delicate matter complete justice but I do want to resume dialogue about this matter. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. However, like always, I pledge to be open-minded and sensitive. But, I will have to at least recognize some differences between American and Korean ideas of healthy body types. Please take this entry as my own opinion sprinkled with a generous serving of sarcasm. Eat up. It’s good for you.
It’s safe to conclude that neither country has a single, uniform opinion about what a healthy body looks like. For some, it’s being dangerous skinny enough to shop for summertime bikinis in the toddler section. For others, it’s all about how happy they are inside and has very little to do about their outward appearance. Healthiness and sexual attraction also don’t always line up equally. But, aren’t women naturally suppose to be more curvy? Wow, second paragraph and already I’m wincing. I’m getting uncomfortable just typing about this.
Matter of fact, let’s just go ahead and set the thermostat to “Chilly” cause it’s about to get cold up in here. I volunteer myself for this next example. I’m 6 feet (1.8 meters) tall and always a little short of 180 pounds (80 kilograms). For many, I’m considered to be fat among Koreans. Soak that up.
At my current body type, I’m by no means scrawny. By the same token, no one would consider me obese. However, by and large, in America it’s not crazy to consider my body type to be quite normal (if not skinny). Now, on the lifestyle side of things, I would consider myself on the healthy end of the spectrum. I was a vegetarian for years, I’ve never smoked, I jog regularly, I eat lightly and frequently, I avoid soft drinks and candy, and I drink a crazy amount of water everyday. However, apparently I’m some gargantuan foreigner with an insatiable hunger. Feed me Seymour Korea.
My first encounter with my own personal grossness of a body occurred just a few years ago. When I met my first Korean language tutor, after a few meetings, she and I ate lunch together at the university sandwich shop. While waiting in line and deciding which sandwich to order, she turned to me and remarked “Are you sure you’re hungry? You look like you’re already full.” At which point she poked my stomach. At least I have a nice personality, right? Thanks 누나.
Culture shock, anyone?
For Koreans, first of all, fatness is not a taboo subject like it is America. It gave my tutor no pause to talk about my stomach. We weren’t even very close at the time - Hell, I had practically just met her. Was my stomach really that huge? Was it the age difference? Was it just her?
Nope. I’m just a monster. Apparently my beer gut is the stuff of legends. What is a “M” waist size in America is an astronomical “XL” here in Korea. “M” no longer stands for Medium….more like Monster. Another horror story comes from my encounter at a top-notch Korean resort. While searching for a few chairs to steal for the my group’s table, a small group of high school girls stopped to stare and remark about my body. They laughed, pointed, and talked about my gut. I believe the word “pregnant” was used. Now, at the time, my Korean was not perfect (will it ever be?) but it was good enough to understand the general point of what they were saying (let alone the body language, right?). But, I should be fair in saying that I was the only visible foreigner at the resort on that day. I’m sure that played a role…but then again, maybe my Robin Williams-like forest of chest hair scared them…
Moving on.
But it’s one thing to be skinny and another thing to be healthy. They don’t always mean the same thing. Being skinny does not make one healthy and being healthy does not make one skinny. If someone is genuinely overweight, it’s also fair to say that they might feel a little sensitive about their weight. It’s a valid struggle to maintain a healthy lifestyle whilst still maintaining a lifestyle that fits everyone’s tastes. In my case, my answer is to avoid Western food and eat Korean food - it’s delicious, healthy, and good for you. But not everyone digs on soybeans, tofu, fish, and levels of spice that are only rivaled in deepest depths of Hell. I respect that.
But in Korea, there are lots of skinny people running around. Really, there are. Seriously, look at this chart. According to the data, two out of three people in the United States are considered to be overweight or obese. Good job, everyone.
Finally some data so you can justifiably hate on them scrawny girls in 신촌… Just makes you want to eat a double cheeseburger and glower, doesn’t it? Coming from America, I’d just assume be pushing the scales like the rest of my countrymen. Maybe that’s why I don’t particularly notice other Americans who are overweight. To me, it’s just one aspect of a person and not that big of deal. But looking at the data on the chart, I can see why Koreans might be acutely sensitive to people who are overweight - foreign or otherwise.
This discussion requires a deep understanding of the sociological and cultural pressures that Koreans are subjected to, and I’ll go ahead and not volunteer myself for that. When backed into a corner, I refer to the smartest Kiwi I know. In absence of greatness, I concede that Korea has obvious cultural pressures to be anything but overweight. It can’t just be the natural diet of the people; while Korean food does, in my opinion, tend to be closer on the healthy side, we’re still talking about a land filled with enough Dunkin Donuts, 삼겹살, and 우동 to adequately fill the gullets of the masses to unhealthy proportions. So, something else must be going on. Will we ever know for sure know what makes Koreans so paper thin? Social Pressure? Good genes? 김치?
As I’m sure most of you can guess, I’m confident and happy with my own body type. Sure, I don’t look like Brad Pitt but honestly I’m not worried about it. To me, there’s more to life than being thin (or being among socially acceptable levels of “skinny”). After all, if I had a chance to either lift weights or spend time with my family, I’ll pick the latter any day of the week. But, like all things, it’s all about balance, isn’t? For me, the balance comes from being active, eating right, watching my sugar intake, jogging, and having a healthy and accurate self-image. By no means do I see myself as overweight. I urge those who do place external pressure on people who are a few sizes short of a “zero” to examine why they do so. Whose needs are trying to be met? Does such pressure really do anything other than make the other person uncomfortable?
Rant over.
Thoughts?
Posted by Matthew in How Koreans Do It |
July 28th, 2009 at 6:44 am
And then there’s the flip side - when Korean moms (well, actually most Asian moms, including mine) feed you to the gills - while thinking that you’re a still bit fat and could stand losing a little more weight:
http://stuffkoreanmomslike.blogspot.com/2008/11/53-force-feeding.html
July 28th, 2009 at 7:05 am
Yes, that is true. Especially,they really care about obesity in 20~30 old age.
Some company don’t even hire fat people because they think that obesity is a result about lazyness.
Having nice body is a purpose of everyone in society.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Yeah, there’s a lot of skinny people here, but I’ve seen people who are on the plump side. I think Asians in general are thinner than Westeners also because of their skeleton. But I agree with what you’re saying.
I’ve actually gotten a comment about my weight here in Korea. She said I was slim, though, so I guess it’s not that bad, but in Norwegian society you don’t really comment on people’s weight.
Norwegians are low on the list, but still over 8%…
Btw, you look really Norwegian.
July 28th, 2009 at 9:28 am
@ Soon:
“Having nice body is a purpose of everyone in society.”
That’s a pretty shallow statement, don’t you think? And a bit offensive, perhaps?
I thought the purpose of everyone’s role in society is to have everyone make (at least) one significant contribution or fill some sort of yet-to-be-filled niche, whether it be cultural, social, economic, or some other kind of endeavor.
A nice body? Yes, it is an essential that we watch our health so that we minimize our chances for physical pain and suffering in the course of our lives. But specifically, nice bodies are more conducive to physical attraction, coupling, and in many cases, growth in population. But is it worth it to exclude people on a more general social that do not fall into this physical ideal? My gut (no pun intended) says absolutely not.
And me? Yes, I’m a bit heavy-set, but when I was in Korea a couple years ago, my host “parents” (actually, the parents of a friend) were truly impressed that I was willing to eat pretty much anything that was set out in front of me - and said nothing about my weight. (Although my host mom did playfully slap my leg when I bounced it up and down below the dining table - that was unexpected.) Also FWIW, many SE Asian body types are short and stocky (endomorphic), which I certainly have.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:11 am
@ Soon - very good point about the link between laziness and overweightness.
@ Chriss - 8%? not bad at all… and thanks for the compliment…I think
@ Ed - remember the Korean group consciousness. If you’re “that guy” that sticks out in any way, it’s not conducive to the group. This certainly entails physical appearances, not just body fat. Manner of dress, hair style, etc.
One of my favorite parts of America is how we sell the idea to kids at a young age that individualism and uniqueness are positive qualities. “We all come in different shapes, sizes, and colors and we’re all equally important” is a great little token phrase that many a kindergarten classroom heard from me. While being careful not to overemphasis and call out unique features or traits of a particular kid, I always addressed questions and curiosity about any and all differences with a “you are made that way and it’s great just the way you are. You’re different from so-and-so and that’s good. Wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same? I’m so glad that we can talk about this kind of stuff. It’s good that we’re all friends - regardless what we look like - because what’s inside is what is most important”
Whew…gettin my kindy teacher on.
While this “tolerance” of weight is largely missing in Korea, I chalk it up to a cultural difference and not a slight. Plus, Korea is getting more diverse each generation. But of course, I’m viewing at all of this with a different cultural (and personal) lens.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:13 am
@ Matthew (are you still channeling your inner kindy teacher?):
Yes, I know that it goes against group consciousness - but the way Soon phrased it sorta irked me.
I guess it’s still this sort of mentality, then: “If you seriously want me to lose weight, then WHY are you still stuffing me silly?” And I fully know of the cultural phenomenon of food being a sign of parental love.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
I had an awkward experience in a Korean subway talking about weight. I was standing next to the subway doors when some 아저씨 motioned to me to come and sit in an empty seat next him.
So we had a short conversation in Korean. Simple questions like: 1)what brings you to Korea, 2)what are you studying, 3)how long have you been here so far, etc. When he asked me where I was from and I told him I was from the U.S. he seemed surprised and made a comment which I didn’t understand at first, so he puffed out his cheeks and held out his arms a little bit to his sides. After that he repeated what he said before in Korean while giving me a pat on the leg, then it was clear that he was complimenting me on being skinny. To me, it still seemed like a backhanded compliment so I wasn’t sure how to take it.
I’m not used to talking so openly about weight with strangers.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
One of my Korean aunts made a small comment about my weight, too while in Germany everyone says I’m too skinny -.-’
I don’t think it’s about genes. If you go to the USA, I’m sure there are a lot of chubbier Asian Americans. Also when I went to a restaurant with my cousin in Seoul, she said she was happy I ate normally cos all her friends are on a constant diet.
Heck, even the friend of my mom (over 55 y/o) ate reeeeally little when she was our guest in order to not gain weight.
I don’t think this behaviour is good, it’s too extreme …
July 28th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Great. I’m heading back to Seoul in a few weeks and now all I can think is that I look like this guy.
Well, this post was timely. My self-esteem had been hovering somewhere around “normal.” Nice to have it back in the basement.
Ugh.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
@ Gabriel - strangers? How about talking about weight with other guys? I was shocked to find out that my buddies were talking about my weight…It came up at least once a week it seems. Geez, talk about having issues with food, now.
@ 규리 - Agreed. One of those instant things that can give someone away as either Asian or Asian-American is one’s weight. How awful is that to say? Shouldn’t it really not matter?
@ Frank - ㅎㅎㅎㅎ Too funny!
July 29th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Ed, I don’t think that’s what Soon meant. The way I read it was that it was actually condemning the fact that in Korea everyone seems to think that way, rather than saying everyone should think that way.
July 29th, 2009 at 5:00 am
what a great image to go along with this post. take note of the chest area. HT to the Marmot
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_nMmeViJEKQo/Sm462IQKcrI/AAAAAAAAGAw/l5ZCfz7NIqk/s1600-h/DSCN7723.JPG
July 29th, 2009 at 6:32 am
ㅋㅋㅋ
I haven’t read all.
In the middle of somewhere, my memory from Tondosa Temple Stay came into my head.
We experienced being in the coffin as a body in Korean way for funeral.
The girl before me was quite big.
They couldn’t cover the coffin.
One of the volunteers couldn’t help laughing.
And someone might have wished it should not hurt anyone, even the one laughing!
Right, Mister!
I met a person who shouted at me”Yellow, go away. We don’t need you here.”in London once.
He actually tried to help me as I looked lost behind me.
He hurried to come and help me and see my face and said that.
How I felt at the moment?
‘He’s having hard time in his mind…’
Am I thinking this is London?
One of my youngest sister’s boyfriends was about your height.
And about 100 kg.
But he didn’t look fat or anything.
Everyone, everywhere there are people who have different ideas and
the way of expressing it.
Tell you what.
I said I am fat.
Yes, I am. Compared to what I was just 5-6 years ago.
And recently, whenever I see thin monks..especially monks.
I kind of adore them.
Of course, some of those are just skinny, not from practice.
Maybe practice from before, whenever it is.
And I am kind of considering how I can be back to my weight before or less,
how I can be more resolute.
That’s what I meant.
Nothing about anything else.
And I do admit, some of us, KOREANs talking like that.
That’s korean thing, I do admit.
But again, if someone thinks that attitude is wrong.
We say that’s not right.
And we do say that.
So you don’t need to feel uncomfortable, if you find something you can really understand.
The girl you mentioned at first, yes there are plenty of people like that…
You forgot at that moment.
Some koreans behave like they know you for long in a good way to you.
Some koreans can behave like they know you for long in a bad way to you.
Good and bad is depending on whom?
No need to be upset, but also you can say
“고마워.”like “Thank YOU?”
We korean say that, too in a different accent like normal 고마워,
and meaning” mind your own business”, but not upset way.
Just in a casual joking way but remind the person can sound rude.
My dad, unbelivably skinny, 45 kg with 168cm,
he always says, Big fat is disease and said I’m not his daughter.
푸하하. Does it hurt?
July 29th, 2009 at 7:12 am
I found some or lots of mistakes from what I wrote above.
first, one of my sis’s ex boyfriends,
pls don’t imagine she has thousands of them.
she married… will have a baby…
translation problem…ㅋㅋ
and I do think the girl you mention first even didn’t mean what you think.
just the words she can translate into english with korean mind was accidently just that.
and depends on how you say it with what kind of attitude and care,
it can be many different meanings.
taking what it means and choosing one of them out of possible translation
is up to you.
So called, culutral difference? is it?
Rest your mind.
Thank you.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:47 am
@ 영희누나 - 글 남겨줘서 정말 고마워요! Your perspective helps to flesh out this discussion. I especially like the idea that becoming familiar with someone has it’s pros and cons. Come to think of it, the buddies of mine who talk about my weight the most are also, coincidently, the ones I consider to be my friends (instead of just acquaintances). Perhaps there is some baggage attached to these friendships? Like brutal honesty (even when it is unsolicited?)
Also, your candid opinion is always appreciated.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:29 am
ZOMG - that image is frightening.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:37 am
And as a companion piece:
http://stuffkoreanmomslike.blogspot.com/2008/03/11-telling-people-they-are-fat.html
July 29th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Hmm… interesting post. I could write a novel on this subject. I’m gunna go out on a limb here and be a bit honest…
It’s really hard, the whole body image thing. And it’s something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. It’s really hard, for me, to see people comparing the body image thing in the west with what it is in Korea. Being biologically Korean, but living in a western society has been a struggle. I constantly feel as though I should be living up to my “Asian stereotype” in being small, yet people all around me are constantly eating more in a day than I would in a week! Although it’d be nice to simply be happy with myself, it’s hard to reconcile the ideals of body image that two cultures apparently have. So it’s strange, in a way. I guess I feel like I’ve felt the pressures both societies put on/value when it comes to body image.
In all honesty, that is definitely something I fear most about going back to Korea for the first time - realising that ANOTHER reason I don’t completely fit in there is because I’m fatter than everyone else. >_
July 29th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Uh… I’m not sure what happened to the rest of my comment… but it said something like:
Sorry for a depressing comment! On a lighter note, I liked the pictures you used, and I really like the way you write so humourously about an otherwise touchy subject.^^
July 29th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Brutal Honesty?ㅋㅋ
That reminds me of jokes between English.
Was shocking! Seriously!
I grew up now with those unbelievably cruel jokes English do.
And I got stressed by korean’s too much close persnal space.
When I didn’t feel like, those are just like intrusion,
but when I accept all as me, inside me always(?) peace, trying to be wise truly
for all and everything.
Look forward to seeing you soon!
Ready for the intrusion?
July 30th, 2009 at 4:28 am
@ Alexis - thanks for your honesty. I can’t say I can relate to being biologically Korean but raised in the West, but I can empathize. And, no problem for a few laughs on an otherwise crummy subject to write on.
@ Ed - thanks for the link! I read that article in prep for this post but neglected to link to it. I love that blog BTW. short, sweet, and hilarious.
July 31st, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Also, I think you have a really good and healthy way of thinking. I only wish my way of thinking was as good as your’s!!
And why are Koreans so thin? I really do think it’s the pressure of society. My husband and I were talking about Asian body types a while ago (after someone told me they thought I was Japanese), and I always thought that Koreans were supposedly a little bigger than the Japanese and Chinese? That was always the impression I was given, anyway. I just think Koreans put more pressure on each other. 9_9
July 31st, 2009 at 7:47 pm
[…] The other BAD stereotype that I have struggled with more than any other is body image. And this one is something I think most teenagers struggle with. Matt recently made a blog post on KC101’s blog about Koreans being “skinny”, and how there’s a lot of pressure to be thin. […]
August 4th, 2009 at 1:28 am
[…] 11) A great guide to “Korean attitudes towards being fat, skinny, and everything between” from KoreanClass101. […]
August 4th, 2009 at 2:11 am
I went to Korea for 2 weeks to visit some of my former students and I was pretty sure I was THE fattest female in the entire country. People would come up to me on the street and say “oh wow, you must be from America” and then want to practice English with me o_O I also got a lot of “oh wow your face is REALLY pretty…if I just saw your face, I wouldn’t know that the rest of you was fat.”
While there, a few interesting things happened: one of my former female students said “maybe it is just our [Korean] culture because we care a lot about each other, but I think that if you exercised you would lose weight really fast because you gain fat not muscle”…not true. I have more muscle than fat because I played a lot of sports and still enjoy doing them: swimming, volleyball, bowling, tennis, etc… so even if I lost fat I would still be pretty big by Korean standards and on top of that I would be considered “scary”. For some reason, girls with muscles in Korea scare people….?
Also, one of my male former students challenged me to a swimming competition. Now, mind you I have been swimming competitively since I was 5 and, even at this weight, can still swim 2,000 meters per day in an hour and 15 minutes. Well, this student of mine made the claim that I was lazy and there was no way that I could beat him down and back in the pool. He was only half done by the time I finished, then claimed that I cheated when all his friends were witness and said “no man, she really beat you.”
I think the concept of “fat people are lazy” comes from only being fed pictures (media and real life, perhaps) people that buy a big mac, super size fry, diet coke, and sit around all day. I wish I could say it’s a common misconception, but the number of lazy people who are fat greatly outnumber those that are active who just happen to be fat for whatever reason..
But, now that I have been out of the country, I can now fully realize why Americans are at the top of this list…we drive EVERYWHERE. Especially here in the midwest and even the southern regions where everything is SO far away that you have no other choice but to drive. In Korea, you walk EVERYWHERE and to get to a public transportation spot you sometimes have to walk half way across Seoul (or so it seemed that way)…seems that they are pretty active there, so now I can really understand the stereotype of “fat people are lazy.”
August 4th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Heh, as a Chinese Australian, and a formerly skinny nerd who normally wears M or L clothes here, going clothes shopping in Hong Kong was an interesting experience - having to generally try and find clothes which were large enough, the opposite problem to here. I was suddenly an L, or XL+. It was a strange experience not being able to fit my arms and shoulders into tshirts which were allegedly XL.
It is true that in places like HK, SK and Japan car ownership is much lower and public transport is used much more, compared to places like Australia, where it is generally cars all the way.
August 4th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
‘we drive EVERYWHERE’
Spot on. And most f the ppl eat enormus amounts of food. Sometimes we go (with my wofe) to fast food in UK (we both immigrants) and after sharing one XXL meal we are both full and sometimes there are still leftovers. I heard that meals in US are even bigger…
And another thing, for about half year after coming here I felt sick when I seen those really fat people. Seriously just seeing them made me feel like I want to puke. Then slowly I get used to it. I know that many people here might think it is me who was silly. But I never seen so obese people in my country (Poland) I my reaction was just unavoidable, could not handle it. Felt genuinely sick.
August 5th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I’m not a big guy by any stretches of the imagination (5 ft 9in, 175lbs) but i do like to lift weights and here it’s like I’m a big body builder, it’s funny cause there are so many gyms in Korea but no one works out hard, just a few light dumbbell curls, smoke a cig, talk on the cell phone then walk slowly on the treadmill for 15 minutes, then they take a shower for one hour. People always tell me I have “Nice Body” or “Healthy Man!” sometimes strangers at the gym will grab my arms or chest which is flattering but very strange.
August 6th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
HAHA! I think I love you, random blog writing friend. I’m not considered fat in America, but over in Asia I felt like I was a giant Jello Mold. Well ya know what, screw feeling sorry for myself– I’m a little soft, not fat. Soft never hurt no one, right? Right!
August 6th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
@ - Stephanie - thanks for sharing your experience. I especially like that you whupped that kid in swimming. very nice.. and I also agree - Americans drive everyone every chance we get. i’d drive to the bathroom if I could…
August 6th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
@ JPL - yeah I don’t get the ‘healthy man’ thing yet but maybe it’s because i’m getting love stares from 아줌마s everywhere. i get the “handsome boy” thing whenever I start speaking Korean…then all pride and purpose goes out the window. what can I say? I smile a lot (like an idiot)
@ Tomek - I can vouch and say that typical american meals are also a bit on the large portion side. where else can you get a half a pound of sirloin steak as the meal course and still be expected to finish two sides, hot butter rolls, peanuts, beer, and dessert? and it NOT be a competition? only ion America…and that ship on Wall-E…
@ aliamay - soft is always a good thing ^_^
August 11th, 2009 at 12:14 am
[…] A very good guide at the KoreanClass101 blog. […]
August 11th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
I was in Korea Last summer - I am average in UK (size 12/14) but felt like a whale in Korea, I was not bothered by the stares of the Koreans because we were foreigners after all- in fact I found them all so friendly - the only problem was the lovely clothes were all so small! - Even my daughter (UK size
had problems finding things to fit because she has curves!
I vowed to lose weight before my next trip- 1 year on and I think I put on a bit more!! , the only good thing was - the day i arrived back in uk I had never felt so slim as when I walked into our local supermarket and saw all the size 16 + people shopping!!
August 11th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
hmm size eight is what i meant to put no idea why i got a smiley!
August 13th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Whoa, this post sure generated a TON of response! Nothing gets people talking like body image…
I’m really skinny– even by Korean standards. Last year when I worked at the 학원, one of my students told me that I had a nice “S-Line” (the Western equivalent of that phrase being “hourglass figure”). Not sure how to take that, being a man and all. But for the rest of the term, I would catch the students (all girls about 11 years old) tracing an S in the air to match my body shape. Ah, the honesty of children.
August 14th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
All this talk about body image now has me scared off from ever visiting Korea. Although I love the food and the culture, I don’t thnk I would ever have enough confidence to endure the stares and comments from those “skinny” koreans. I am a Chinese Canadian and I grew up on good old cow’s milk and have a large bone structure. Even if I starved myself and had lipo I would never fit their standards of “normal”.
I guess I’ll just have to admire their culture from afar.
August 19th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
@ Pamela - I completely hear you. Even though I’ve lost 3 kg since coming to Korea, I’m still a big, smelly, foreign fat monster. I’m just barely fitting the clothes, too.
@ Daniel - hear hear! Here’s to students talking inappropriately about teacher body types ㅋㅋ
@ holly - Don’t be completely scared off because it’s subtle … but it’s constant. Seeing as you’re of Asian decent, you would “blend” in much more than a foreign-looking big’un.
It all reminds me if the world told me that my body type is hyper-obese…would it still be the truth? Korean body image truths are relative and sometimes, we should just dust off our shoulders and say…”nuts to that. I’m fine the way I am”
August 20th, 2009 at 9:30 am
How interesting. I will say this — my dad is about 5′ 9″, and used to be about 180 lbs. And in the 16 years of growing up in Korea, he was the second fattest man I have ever seen with my own two eyes. (Excluding people on TV.) Of course, that was good 20 years ago.
Also reminds me of my last flight from LA to NYC, when 20% of my seat was taken over by this fatass who raised up the armrest just to fit his body…. God, really, Americans need to lose some goddamn weight.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:08 am
[…] 4. I recently re-read an old entry on Korean Class about Korean attitudes toward body weight. My students and coworkers in Korea would constantly comment about my weight, despite the fact that according to BMI, I am only slightly over the line into “overweight”. The entry talks about how it’s not meant in a mean-spirited sense, and it’s an interesting cultural phenomenon. You can read it here. […]
September 19th, 2009 at 3:11 am
it is really bad to make fun or stress about a person’s weight even if he is really overweight, first because this particular person gets hurt when you point out this (weight problem) publicly or in front of his friends and colleagues, yes it is an overweight person talking here i’m 5′2 and weigh twice my height, 70kgs, my weight is supposed to be less than 50 kgs in order for me to be skinny and 63kgs for me to have a good bmi in american standards so basically i am overweight for all general standards, which Asian can possibly classfiy me as obese my problem is that i like food, but in my country we rarely mock each other for our weight or at least we don’t talk in front of that person, although i think behind the back of a person is as painful at times, people in my country eat well and have ’some meat’ on their bones, but they look healthy not anorexic, again it seems in asian countries they are so much obsessed about wieght that if somone is loosing weight without trying is a complementary thing, i would get worried if this happens to me while i’m not trying to loose any weight within my will, coz this is a health concern….i’m on strict diet and exercise, but not because i want to loose weight but because i suffer from a condition called ibs(a digestive disorder (which started recently), its a condition where you cannot eat accept vegetables and fish , a condition which is only improved by vigrous training , and it is chronic, my friends are so worried that i didn’t eat on my collegues brithday, i didn’t touch fries or anything just had a small peace of bread and nothing for that day…..!!!! i think this obession about weight loss would make people unhealthy, strict weight loss less than 60kg makes one look sick - at least that’s what is regarded in our society, look most people are over 60kgs and these are mostly our females, only few maltese people who are obsessed (these are about 1%) or naturally thin weigh less than this amount…..the most important thing is to LOOK HEALTHY and feel healthy too, looking anorexic is not acceptable in our society, so as you see not all countries favor major weight loss!!! but only if there is a health condition that prevents you from doing so - that’s understandable!! sorry for being long but i wish ppl take care of their health and enjoy foods and stop worrying about being fat….being slightly overweight also is not a major health threat, obesity is though!!!!
December 15th, 2009 at 5:41 am
[…] As touched upon in the infamous “fat” post, Korea is hurtin for a good ol’ American steak. We gots lot of skinny girls in desperate need of some meat. Haven’t they ever had an enchilada or two? If skinny is the new black then this place is straight-up darkness. Sneeze hard enough and one of the college girls on the subway might fall over from the force. Please go back for seconds, Korean women. You look nice but at what cost? - Short Skirts - […]
December 16th, 2009 at 4:54 am
I had planned on going to South Korea in August of 2010, and I really want to go! but the slight issue is that my body type is big even by American standards. Your blog actually helped me out a bit, because I wanted to see if I should still go or not… I believe I will, because this is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I am going to work on loosing as much weight as possible!
I think going to an Asian country would be a good motivator for a person to lose weight. Personally though, I don’t think being skinny is all that great. I mainly care about being healthy. and being overweight isn’t healthy. Well… yeah… I guess for me now though I am really healthy. in terms of heart condition and things of that nature….
December 17th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Being a Korean female, I had to struggle my whole life with weight issues while I was in Korea. People in U.S. say that as long as you are healthy and happy weight should not be an issue. However, it is not as simple as that in Korea.
Like you pointed out, people are pretty direct and blunt about other’s appearances and especially if you are a young female you would get judged constantly based on how pretty or ugly you are. Korean men like to comment about women’s look and they are not afraid to express their judgments to women.
My sister is an accountant, worked for one of the largest firms in seoul, and even in a professional environment she was in one of her coworker constantly made comments about her body shape, calling her a ‘몸꽝’ meaning’ the horrible body’ in korean. Funny thing is from an American’s point of view, she is below average, rather skinny than chubby. Also what the coworker did would be considered as harassing in U.S. and he would be in trouble. However, in korea even when it was a professional environment it was okay for a male coworker to make disturbing comments about a female coworker’s look.
Another incident was when my friend wanted a part time job at Mcdonald’s in Korea. She did not get the job and shockingly the reason was SHE WAS NOT PRETTY ENOUGHT TO WORK AT MCDONALDS!!! My friend told me that the manager wanted a good looking female to take orders to attract customers. I know that women are judged by their looks anywhere you go, however, It is totally absurd that in korea you can not even work at macdonalds because you are not pretty enough for them.
So, Yes, I would say it is more of a Social Pressure for koreans to stay skinny than anything else.
Thank God I am now living in U.S. far away from the superficial madness!
Another funny thing is that I am a size 0 or 2 in U.S. and Americans always compliment about how slender I am while koreans are always in the hunt for finding flaws on my body.
April 26th, 2010 at 11:32 am
The how skinny a person look is all over Asia, its crazy, but the flip side when I went back to my country everyone shoved food in my face, I was like I already ate like three dinners stop inviting me, lol. Its rude if you don’t eat their meals when they offer, but I can see the interpretation that fat is lazy. However, I can do most things my skinny counterparts cannot do. They can’t lift rice sacks but I can though my relatives told me not to. I am considered normal in America, but fat in Asia and fat = not pretty. Then I got food poisoning and shed 20 to 30 pounds, they said I look better than when I was “fat”, I didn’t feel good. Imagine going through life where your body has to learn to do without when it doesn’t. For the most part I am happy with myself and at this stable weight. Don’t want to chase after a figure I am not meant to have.
May 28th, 2010 at 6:26 am
The thing is that in Korea… they say it’s about being “healthy”, but actually, it’s pretty much 80% of the Korean girls I met were terribly insecure about their bodies. I’m not joking when I say they starved themselves. They would literally eat a tiny bit every day and would drink 100 calorie coffees to keep going during the day. Not all of them were like this, but a lot of them were.
I’m all for girls being thin or fit, but in Korea girls take it way too far. They pinch at nothing and call it fat. I’m not overweight.. I am 59 kg and 171 cm, but I work out and have muscle. Most of the Korean girls are skinnier and look emaciated. I don’t starve myself or anything and I like food. I think it’s natural to be like this. There are some Korean girls who are fit and healthy and thin, but they aren’t the twigs I see on the subways all the time.
I hear Korean girls complaining all the time about getting skinnier and complaining about their bodies, skin, etc. It’s all totally insecure and it’s a big turn off. I really wish society wouldn’t tell them they have to be a size -1 and get plastic surgery to be beautiful. It makes me sick and makes me feel sad when my friends who are beautiful still feel so insecure.
Not to mention that Korean girls look nice in their clothes, but once they take them off in the jjimjilbangs it’s pretty sickening to see all the bones. They look like deformed prepubescent girls. And I really do feel sorry for those. Because they feel like they have to do that to themselves to be wanted by men, accepted at jobs, and approved by the people around them.
I just tell my friends that they are fine and beauty comes in many different forms. Korean girls wouldn’t be fat if they gained 20 lbs… they would be a lot healthier and still beautiful and gorgeous. Most of my friends were naturally pretty… they didn’t need to diet or starve themselves.
I do agree that overall Korea is much healthier, but girls go beyond even that. I lost weight in Korea too (like 5kg) simply from walking everywhere and eating the food. I think going beyond what your body naturally does isn’t right.
May 28th, 2010 at 10:11 am
Laeah, thanks for your great insight.
I do agree with you.
But remember this - that is not only female case but male as well.
I do not want to say, “this is right, that is not right, this way is, that was is not… and so on..” but, does it all about individuals?
The main, the core, problem is that we are living in that kind of society right now. I don’t know where it comes from but… the matter of fact is we do love with it. In America, there is a tv program called, “makeover” (I think̷
Those females who want to change their appearance do anything in order to feel satisfied. The main problem with that is it makes people to think it is ok or it is better to change their appearance right away (by spending money) than changing their whole attitude toward their life styles.
There are so many of them today. Including myself, we are all tended to get a quick result than working hard patiently. It is us. It’s us! If we do not like that kind of attitude, we shouldn’t see or we shouldn’t let our children watch so many invaluable programs on tv but, we do…. we watch it every single day; so do our children. And what’s worse is the more children do think it is ok to do “makeover” in the future.
Don’t make me wrong. We, Korean people, wouldn’t have this kind of attitude at all. When I was young, we tended to blame at actors/actresses who decided to makeover themselves. But not any more… We do not carry that kind of moral any more… Why did this happen? Who made this? It’s us.
I can say, we can encourage Korean people to love themselves but… it will not work. I can guarantee that! why!? because it’s them… the main problem is in them. It’s like they are wearing beautiful shoes on their feet but they do think that’s not beautiful enough. I can say to them, “no, no they are beautiful”, you also can say them, “it is really beautiful” but, the main problem is they always compare themselves (their shoes) with beautiful actresses (best best shoes on the market). So they never feel satisfied with themselves. Never!!! beacuse new shoes coming out every year!!! They have to buy and get the new shoes again. Now you get my point! It’s their problem! Annd our problem as well because we do live in that kind of society - media, tv, radio, entertainnemnt, marketing, winning, efc.
The matter of fact is we can’t change the environment we live in. It will be changed when enough people come to realize that’s wrong and, they act together to fix ‘the problem’; otherwise, it will not be changed! I bet you on that!
Then now what!? What do we do? The great news is that we can do change ourselves. I can change myself because I am the boss of my life. You can change yourself because you are the boss of your life. Each person can change himself/herself. The point is that how willing they are to change or to be changed themselves. How bad they want! The sad thing is many of them are not willing to change / to be changed themselves at all.
Many of us just sit down and keep complaining and grumbling others. I cannot change you, you cannot change me. I can say so many good things about them but I cannot change them because it is all about how badly they want to change themselves.
The problem you mentioned here above is not only Korea’s problem. This kind of problem spreads throughout the world. Because… because we do allow it to heppen. Because we are not willing to change things around.
So my personal answer is… (personally I had the same issue/problem on me) I cut tv off. I stopped watching tv and I focused on my life by enjoying every single thing that I do. Then eventually I found myself. I found who I really was… I found the joy of seizing the moment. I gained self-respect, self-confidence, and peace…
We can’t solve any problem by ignoring it. We have to face it and have to try to find the core problem and break it piece by piece. And the main problem here is us. We can’t complain about society, people, media, efc. Society forces them to be like that..!!?? I don’t think so… they force them to think that way… we all do.
I do see your point, Laeah. I do agree with you.
But the solution is near. The solution lies in me, in you, and in them.
bye now.
Thanks for your interesting comment.
cheers,
June 26th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Interesting. I have wondered if the tendency to discuss weight and appearance is prevalent in Asian cultures. My Japanese mother told me, when I was 19 or so, that I should have a 22″ waist as she did at age 19, indicating I had some kind of defect because of this failure. Except, I am half Caucasian and 5′9″, which was six or seven inches taller than she was. My waist was an astounding (LOL) 24 inches when she told me that. I haven’t had a 22 inch waist since I was 9 years old.
Because I am not an expert in Asian cultures, I have wondered if she was being cruel on purpose. Perhaps not. Perhaps it was at least partly cultural. She’s gone now, so I can’t ask, and at 19 I did not think of asking.
Anyway, I am not telling my daughters to be thin, but to be able to run a couple miles and do some pull-ups.
July 4th, 2010 at 2:56 am
Hello everyone,
I wanted to reply especially to the anon who has IBS, as I, too, have a medical problem which means that I got “fat”, at least by French standards. I used to weigh 40 kilos and now I weigh 60, at 157cm. In France, this is pretty big. I think that in Korea, people would also find me fat. People who don’t know me can (and will) judge me, but the important people - my friends and family - know that I am only allowed 300 calories per day, I must exercise to keep my body working, etc.
I think Korea would be a nice change - sometimes, it would be nice if a stranger told me I was too fat, and should lose weight. At least then there would be an opportunity to say that I am doing my best, and perhaps someone could recommend some diet tea lol.
But also, I think it would be nice for people to realize that sometimes being overweight is due to poor diet and lack of exercise but not always. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.
One last question.. I am 1/8th korean, and from what I understand, it used to be that the Korean beauty ideal was a bit plump, so as to have healthy children.. when did this change ? Maybe we really can blame the media :p
Take care everyone
July 14th, 2010 at 6:24 pm
Well, I might say that due to modernization, businesses who gain profits in all cosmetics and beauty products, directly and brutally informing females and males that they are UGLY and to be “more on aesthetic appeal”, so at the end who gains? rather than focused on good values…
I think people in Korea are having psychological problems, anorexic…insecurities…
I’m so glad that in Philippines, weight is not a major issues…and it is very impolite to tell negative things to someone…they are too sensitive to do that. if you will notice, they are more on “flowery comments” meaning, they are more on saying good things…
and besides, Filipinos LOVE to eat, and no matter how they wolf the food, they never get sooo obese…
they look more on the brighter side…that you live to laugh and happy…
interestingly, if you read newspaper photos nor even tried to watch news, despite that people were in deep trouble of disasters like typhoon or fire —when the camera strikes all the people will automatically SMILE, funny right? that usually happens when people in the area knows that they were taking video or pictures out of them…and so you will see people smiling with the background of horrible crisis.
The things is, they show life should be taken lightly, making things simple not too complicated.
Other Asian country are, because of this weird and irrationaly uptight of things, making their people unhappy and usually heard/read cases of suicide. too much is bad!
How it contradicts the funny scenes they do in their dramas (Korean and Japanese) the truth of very lonely people.
I am a Chinese decent, but grew up in Philippines.
I’m glad to be living here in Philippines
Cheers.
July 15th, 2010 at 10:05 am
Hello Xeena,
Thanks for leaving your thought here.
I think… your point is quite clear and good. Most importantly, I do agree with you.
You said,
“How it contradicts the funny scenes they do in their dramas (Korean and Japanese) the truth of very lonely people.”
What a great point!
Yes, the reason they are pursuiting more movies, dramas, accesaries, things is because they are lonely inside.
I do envy you! I envy you for living in a beautiful country named Philippines.
I lived in Korea and Canada myself.
Recently I am living in Japan.
Even though I am a Korean and asian, I would prefer to live in Canada.
The reason is simple - the same reason you’d like to llive in Philippines.
I do agree with you.
I do feel you.
cheers,
Tim
July 15th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Hi Tim,
Thanks for comment.
in addition to my comment above, no wonder they behave ill mannered in their own country.
Why don’t you guys check how koreans behave in Philippines? they come here as tourist, visitors, students and event migrate and live here also for doing businesses.
In most cases, if you are a tourist, you behave well not to do some bad things or leave bad impressions to the people who live in that country you visited.
In contrast, South Koreans bringing shame in the face of their country –they behave in bad manners, hot tempered and rude here tp most of Filipinos. It is a shame that their Korean Chamber of Commerce Head need to apologize in their behalf for this ill tempered tourists.
As for Filipinos, the deep rooted culture of being silent and submissive has been exploit to Korean’s gratification. I may say that they allow to be treated that bad due to they hate conflicts, fear of scandal, or maybe they are just plain stupid, doesn’t it, too tame and meek. and as I can see it, the term of being hospitable is also abused.
In my opinion, Filipinos who tend not to fight back and just be quiet, is just afraid of the confrontation, avoiding the issue thinking it would go away.
Oh well, what I’m trying to say is, can’t Korean behave and leave good impressions atleast when staying in “other country”?
Look, I don’t have special hatred to Koreans, I’m just telling you guys how they behave here in Philippines inspite of good treatment from people here to them, Japanese treat foreigners bad –but they do it in their own country, if they are here THEY BEHAVE WELL. but Koreans? THEY DON’T like barbarians.
July 15th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
@Xeena
I heard news that they even call them “brown monkey” —then why they like to be tutored/taught English by “brown monkey” teachers?
wow monkey do speak English!
July 15th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Hello Xeena,
The truth of matter is I am Korean too.
Even though I don’t behave like them, I owe you and your country an apology.
Can you accept my apology?
“I am sorry!” “I really do!”
They are people like you just mentioned about.
I know about them. “Sorry”
July 16th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
@Xeena / Saeko
Geesh…true to this…had neighbors, students in dorm (Baguio City), they drink liquors very early in the morning (does the parents know this?)…and sooo loud when speaking…we have sayings here that “if you hear loud voices that almost waking up the dead from graveyard” then don’t be wondering if you see group of people that is –Koreans…in malls…public places…hmmm I wonder if there’s a problem in the eardrum…LOLs
@Tim –im feeling yah…thanks bro.
July 16th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
Hi Tim — your apology is accepted…
not your fault…
July 26th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
This is true, for the most part, but the thing is, not all koreans are like this.
This is a bit stereotypical and slightly insulting to some koreans.
I am a natural born citizen of korea and I’m pretty sure MOST people don’t insult people about their weight, or mention it. I live there now and I know tons of people who are not stick skinny and not prejudice against people who may be chubbier than them.
Those who have seen korean celebrities, may not agree with me, but people that skinny are still a bit rare in korea.
Most people DO do plastic surgery and things at times, but most of their skinniness is due to their EXERCISE and their DIET. They have to walk to must places and their diet consists of less fat and grease. We eat a LOT, just less bad stuff.
and to people who are insulting koreans on here, i think it’s pretty rude to just outwardly say that some koreans are like this or that because the whole country isn’t like that. It’s offending, and completely uncalled for.
We’re not ALL that skinny.
And actually the medium size being an extra large in korea is really an over exaggeration. it’s just about one size, if it is anything. I’m a medium in Korea and a medium OR small in america. It’s not that different…
July 30th, 2010 at 3:05 am
I really like Eve’s comments
July 30th, 2010 at 7:02 am
In Korea, UK size 10-12 is Large! In Korea, size XS is UK size 2-4!!!! In the UK, XS is 6!
August 18th, 2010 at 9:35 am
There are people trying to starf themselves
There are people having an active life
There are people with healthy diets
There are people who have the genes
And there are people who combine some of these aspects
Surely, I am a Chinese and I am small despite the fact that I eat fairly much. It all depends on what you eat. I am in my 20’s now and I must say that I have never had problems with weight. I am 5.4 feet and weigh 110 pounds. My frame is just very small, so this is only normal. I have not thought about being skinny, but rather of being healthy and fit. Raw vegetables, tons of fruits and steemed dinners. It makes a huge difference. All kinds of tea, herbs, massages, excersizes to keep the body, the veins, the muscles lean and healthy so that blood flows good through the body, is what i was taught since little.
Thats why, I dont think ALL people are having some kind of mind in Korea thinking they should starve themself to be slim. There are many asians with the tradition rooted in themselves, to stay healthy by eating natural, steemed, in small portions(yet many), to eat slowly, to be active and to stay in balance with the body and soul. Because that is how I grew up.