Okay so I’ll pick you up at 8:00…maybe
Thursday, June 12th, 2008Time.
Koreans can be terrible about it. I have been stood up more times than I’m happy to admit, but not by dates, but by Koreans. Oh sure, times are changing… but historically, Koreans haven’t faired well with keeping appointments on time.
It’s not their fault. Maybe it’s my fault for being punctual. Maybe I make too big a deal of this. I mean, all other Americans think similarly (only we aren’t as homogeneous as Koreans and thus, many Americans are remorselessly late too). Maybe I never really questioned it until now?
Those of you familiar with Mexican culture will know that MexicoTime is about +1 hour past the time agreed upon. By comparison, KoreaTime is usually +15 minutes past the time stated. Not bad. But there must be a reason, right? It’s not just to make my blood pressure rise, is it?
For many Hispanics, the time that was agreed upon is flexible because people come first, not time. So, if a someone needed a quick favor or a chore needed to be done before heading off to the appointment, most likely the person will be late because these other things come first. It’s quite charming when you look at it that way. He’s not lazy, he’s considerate.
With Koreans, I’m still a bit puzzled. KoreaTime goes beyond this and sometimes just stops altogether - leaving me tapping my foot for an hour - waiting. Cellphones are plentiful, so just give me a call already 누나!
For Americans at least, we like to to think of keeping our appointments and being punctual as being considerate of other people’s time, if for no other reason than the golden rule. When I am stood up, I get the impression that my friend thinks his/her time is more valuable than mine, even though that is not their intention. Although, I must also realize that Americans almost by definition are a little (if not very) egocentric and can have some trouble thinking about others before themselves.
It’s funny because this is the most troubling thing that I deal with. This. I have more stress related to punctuality with my Korean friends than any other aspect. Not the language barrier, now who’s going to foot the bill, not the any other obstacle. It drives me up the wall. 진짜!
Historically, when you look at Korean international business, not only foreigners that expect to be successful have to establish deep personal relationships with chaebol figureheads, but these foreign businesspeople must also expect that the written contract is worth about as much as the paper that the contract is printed on. Why? Because in this context, Koreans value the verbal agreement over what some little sheet of tree pulp says. And yet it comes to great surprise to Westerners when contract signing day comes that Koreans are still trying to negotiate despite an already notarized contract laying in front of them. It fascinates me that this tradition still exists (to an increasingly less degree) given Korea’s influential economic power.
I have now come to possess two different standards. First, I have my normal standard that firmly states that I and others around me should always 1) keep their appointments and 2) show up on time (which for many is 10 minutes earlier than time stated). Second, my other standard is lax and in constant flux. “Maybe we’ll go to 노래방 tonight and maybe we won’t. Oh well”
In any case, it’s just one of those cultural differences that helps to further differentiate our two cultures. Maybe I’m a little too uptight about time, but that’s just how I was raised! Maybe my Korean friend is a little too relaxed about time, but that’s just how he was raised!
Thoughts?
Posted by Matthew in How Koreans Do It |
June 13th, 2008 at 12:54 am
That’s mild compared to the Arabic time of about +2 or +3 (sometimes more) past the set time. My husband is from Algeria, and he’s an architect in France. When he wants construction workers (who are invariably Arab) to show up somewhere at 6 am, it’s not uncommon to see them lazily stroll in at 10:30. He has sometimes had to crack down hard - shutting down construction sites, revoking zone permits and firing the whole lot of them at one time from that project. That straightens them out for a while…then they fall back into the same habits.
I tend to be punctual like you when it comes to meeting times, but I find it’s easier to be flexible if the late person calls me with a reasonable excuse, and doesn’t do that repeatedly.
What would happen if you make an appointment with a friend, and then *you* show up very late with no good excuse? Would they be upset?
June 13th, 2008 at 4:42 am
Actually, I once totally forgot an appointment with a friend and he didn’t even call until the next day…so no, I guess my friends wouldn’t be too mad if I were 30 minutes late.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:51 am
30min is ok but 2 or 3 hours in Algeria? I would be bald from pulling off my hair. Appointment-induced trichotillomania. Filipino time is 30 min. late but we always have excuses, always! Traffic, alarm clock malfunction, etc. Why do some people say ’sharp?’ for example the meeting is at 9:00 sharp! That’s funny to me ‘coz it sounds like a threat, heheh.
June 13th, 2008 at 10:48 am
before i moved to the south, i would have said that americans are punctual. now i would say that americans in the north are punctual. perhaps it is just a nashville thing (or just the people i am generally with) but times are never really set. if a party is at 8, nobody even shows up until 9 or 10. if church is supposed to start at 7, we’re doing good if we’ve started by 7:15. if my friends and i make plans, it’s “let’s meet at 8-ish.” but we never tend to make any formal plans in advance. it’s more like “hey, people are hanging out here about this time..” and people just show up, but never at the same time. i used to be super adamant about punctuality, but now i find myself a few minutes late to almost everything! i don’t like this about me. even at work - it is no problem to show up 10 or 15 minutes late to work most of the time (but growing up in the north, even two minutes late was bad).
all of that to say, i’ve never noticed anything different between my korean friends and my american friends when it comes to punctuality.
June 14th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I fit right in with any group of people that doesn’t necessarily stick to a schedule. I’ve been known to do my fair share of driving others crazy by showing up late, so I welcome an opportunity to relax and go with the flow.
What I can’t stand though is indecisivenes over a direction to go, and in these cases I will sometimes just take over and dictate where we’re going to eat or whatever because somebody just needs to take a stand.
June 18th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Well, you’ve hit on a lot of points, there… I have a lot of opinions about the “verbal vs. written contract” issue, but since that’s not really the main issue of this post, I’ll let it go for now.
I think you’ve basically identified the key issue when it comes to punctuality: namely, that we’re at a point where culture and technology are crossing. In the past, if someone was 30 minutes late and he/she had an excuse that, say, he/she had to help a friend in need, then I might be forgiving.
But nowadays, and especially in Korea, cellphones are very common (even eight-year-old kids have them!). So, it’s completely unacceptable for someone to be more than 10-15 minutes late without calling/texting to explain/apologize for the lateness– and even more unacceptable to stand someone up completely.
As far as I’m concerned, cellphone ubiquity has become a part of contemporary Korean culture, and it ought to (and does) have an effect on culture. What degree of lateness is acceptable is up to the individual, but with cellphones, unexplained lateness or non-punctuality is not acceptable these days at all.