You’re the Designated what? (Korean drinking culture)
Thursday, June 5th, 2008Look at that - I didn’t even have to add the word “alcohol” and you knew what I meant. So why is it such a taboo in America when compared to some other countries?
A relatively small group of emigrants from England bound for America calling themselves the Puritans yearned for religious freedom. They set up in the New England area and proclaimed that their society would become a beacon of light for the world to see. Some time into the 17th century their power declined but their influence has remained in the prevalent thought of Americans ever since. It is because of these persecuted Brits that Americans are so squeamish with alcohol consumption in general. And nudity. Thanks guys.
This isn’t to say that what the Puritans taught was bad in any way - their strong convictions influenced countless American reformations centuries later. But it has left a giggling in every five-year-old when they see a grown man jogging without a shirt in the park ever since.
So, as many well know, Korea is heavily influenced by Confucian thought. Modern day Korean business meetings take place both in the office and in the restaurant with more importance on the latter. Drinking culture permitted the spread of free thoughts and ideas without the usual beating-around-the-bush that is the norm even today in Korea. Drinking with friends, colleagues, and potential clients all play a huge role in how the well-oiled 13th-largest-economy-in-the-world machine works. So what if you don’t drink?
Korea can become a lonely place. Gone is the Land of the Morning Calm. Here is the Land of the Eternal Silence. What is a non-drinker to do?
Suggestions include finding the same type of close-knit group in the office or church that share your same beliefs. More importantly, ensure that your group of friends is the type of friends that can still have a good time despite drinking. Shocking! Koreans of this caliber exist - but you will have to work to find them. I liken it to finding other vegans/vegetarians - they exist but not in large quantities.
I have seen some guides that suggest that one should lie when pressured to drink; suggesting that one should claim that they are pregnant and the like. I would almost offer the opposite. Korea is changing so rapidly that surely exists a group of like-minded individuals who abstain from drinking - and not always for extreme reasons. In America, it’s considered a bit impolite to inquire the reason behind alcohol abstinence, but among Koreans, I might suggest that one be honest and open about their reasons. Koreans don’t drink to get drunk necessarily; rather they drink to feel close and connected to a person. Newsflash - it’s actually possible without the booze.
Having said that, if you want to maintain a pleasant drinking atmosphere and do not have any objections to drinking a small amount, it is considered polite to accept the first drink offered. After that, your explanation of an alcohol-free evening generally goes over smoother.
Koreans can easily be the most loyal group of people you might ever meet. If you don’t buy into the drinking culture, don’t fret. It’s still possible to maintain lifelong friendships without Jinro footing the bill.
Thoughts?
Posted by Matthew in How Koreans Do It |
June 6th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I just don’t feel it’s right for the boss to pressure his employees (and let’s face it, we’re primarily talking about male bosses forcing male employees) into drinking excessively. I mean, hangovers suck, but if you can remember the good time you had last night with your friends while your head pounds and you’re getting familiar with the plumbing, it helps dull the pain. But if all you remember is awkwardly drinking with the boss, trying to smile while he pours you yet another shot that you doubt you’ll be able to keep down, then that hangover is going to hurt twice as bad.
I try to be open-minded, culturally sensitive, and fair about everything I see in Korea, but I struggle a lot with the employee-employer drinking culture here.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
I must admit this is one aspect of Korean culture I don’t quite understand, partly because I don’t/can’t drink myself. I posted this question in the forum a while back, asking if everyone in Korea drinks, including ladies, and what would happen if someone doesn’t. And the answer was something like, it would be kind of difficult to fit in if one doesn’t join in the drinks.
I can only say I’m glad I am not in that situation!
But are there non-drinkers in Korea? Since it’s so much a part of their culture, I would think everybody drinks, unless it’s for health reasons. Wouldn’t it just be like eating kimchi??? Is there any religion forbids drinking altogether?
June 8th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
You can also avoid finishing your glass, so that others at the table won’t feel obligated to fill it for you.
June 8th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Both Islam and LDS forbid drinking.
June 8th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Many Korean Christians don’t drink.
And yes, there are plenty of other Koreans who don’t drink either. But I don’t really know many personally. I think they try very hard to avoid these situations. Some fo the teachers at my school will take a drink of water or cola from the principal instead of alchohol. But I can tell you that my “willingness” to take a real drink from the principal, or any of my male co-workers HAS helped to “grease the wheels” of our relationship. While we could still be friendy without alcohol, and we are on a daily basis…..there is something very myserious about pouring a drink for another person…especially if you offer them YOUR glass. I find ways to be very moderate, and feel perfectly comfortbale refusing when I’ve had enough. However, i’m not sure that my Korean co-workers feel as comfortable refusing when they shuould…and that is perhaps the real issue.
June 30th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Speaking of vegetarianism, how easy is it to be a vegetarian in korea, matthew? Do restaurants usually offer some kind of vegetarian fare? Is vegetarianism accepted, or is it a hippy-like subculture?
June 30th, 2008 at 8:03 am
Excellent question seung-man! So excellent that I wrote a blog entry about it. It’s queued to publish in mid-August but until then I can tell you that Koreans do vegetarianism in quite a unique way. Not very hippy, but not very mainstream either. Also, I am much more likely to find something to eat in a Korean restaurant versus an American restaurant.
July 8th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
[…] What I’m trying to say is that 회식 is one facet of Korean drinking culture (which we looked at a while back). Even though you are considered a guest in the country there are a set of courtesy rules that are expected to be followed. However, as with most things Korea-related, foreigners are allowed to pull the “Foreigner” card at times and politely refuse a drink or two in favor of keeping your wits (for reasons that you are allowed not to explain - be it religious, philosophical, etc). However, it is generally still expected to attend at least the first and second place that the company visits for the night - at the end of the second place (be it a 노래방 or a bar) you can politely excuse yourself with little to be sorry about - you came, didn’t you? […]