Is this a house where I have to take my shoes off?
Thursday, May 29th, 2008You could ask an eight-year-old the difference between Koreans and Americans/Brits/Aussies/Canadians and receive one of two answers:
1) 몰라
2) You have to take your shoes off inside.
It’s funny to me because this seems so simple. Just take them off. But perhaps there’s more to it.
Oh there’s about a million blogs, polls, forum posts, wikipedia articles, and freshman-level essays on the subject and history of taking shoes off, but what about the dilemma of when to take them off? Is it possible to offend someone by taking your shoes off when it is simply not necessary? Oil and wax papered floors are gone. Steam carpet cleaners are in. Why do we still do it?
For that matter, flip flops are also a hot little topic, aren’t they? I’m here to tell you that I have man-feet. They are pretty horrific. Out of respect for all people I refrain from ever wearing flip-flops in public. I’m doing you a favor - trust me. But why is that such a problem, really? In a Korean home, I can usually just pop off my shoes and call it a day but some more traditional homes mandate socks. Clean socks at that. Free spirited people not content with the mainstream who prefer a sockless lifestyle might find great discomfort in the square Korean society that favors cleanliness over freedom of foot.
My nephew is 1/4 Korean. His observations are the stuff of poetry. He once asked a question while at my mother and father’s house “이모부, why are you not taking your shoes off? We gotta take our shoes off inside.” He’s got a point - it’s America - why don’t I take my shoes off at my parent’s house? I do at my in-law’s house and my own home so why not there? In an American household where you might be the only one doing so, it might come off as snooty or distant; comparable to using 존댓말 with your younger sibling. However, the reverse may be true if you are the only one who leaves your shoes on.
Ask a disgruntled 외국인 as to why Koreans take their shoes off and responses range from “Because they’re snobby”, “Because Korea’s so dirty”, to “Because they will get arrested if they don’t”. It’s too bad, you know. There are such bigger and better things to get bent out of shape about 
I don’t know why we still take off our shoes inside. Conformity is an admirable trait among Koreans so perhaps that is one reason. Tradition is another reason that is better left unchallenged in most cases. Just how wild and crazy is it to be the one person upset about taking off shoes when one enters a home? Sorry all. I don’t have an educated answer. All I can tell you is maybe Koreans had me in mind when they prefer socks over bare feet.
Thoughts?
Posted by Matthew in How Koreans Do It |
May 29th, 2008 at 5:32 am
In a more traditional (non western) Korean house people sit directly on the floor to eat, watch t.v. and still use bed rolls. I am assuming thats one big reason why they don’t want the soles of shoes dragging in dog crap and mud all over the place, even if it isn’t visible it’s still there.
May 29th, 2008 at 9:50 am
At my dad and step-mother’s house (she is German) we always took our shoes off. They had light-colored carpet, so it seems perfectly reasonable.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:05 am
in my (completely american) house growing up we ALWAYS took our shoes off inside. my step-mother would have a fit if you wore your shoes on the carpet. but i have been to some homes where it would seem rude to assume that you can take your shoes off - almost like you are making yourself too comfortable. i think most people here don’t really care if you take your shoes off or leave them on..
i live in flip-flops, even if it is cold outside. either that or ballet flats (which do not leave room for socks). i hate socks! but if i know that i am going to a korean friend’s home, i will always wear shoes with socks in order to be able to take my shoes off and not be barefoot. most of my younger friends here will wear flip-flops or sandals with no socks, but i have seen older korean women wearing the same type of shoes with socks.
i think john’s explanation is good - people in korea still do a lot of things on the floor and don’t want the floor to be dirty. i personally prefer to sit on the floor than to sit anywhere else, but it is not very common here in america to sit on the floor. sometimes people look at me strangely. ^^
May 29th, 2008 at 10:57 am
In my time so far here in Korea, I’ve really gotten used to (and enjoyed, in many ways) the “floor” culture. While I’m not ready to give up my Western bed (I’m skinny, and sleeping on the floor really bruises my skinny hips), the draw of hanging out with friends, eating, and otherwise socializing while sitting around on the floor is definitely there. In that kind of environment, taking your shoes off at the door seems like a no-brainer!
I’ve been in other foreigner’s apartments here in Korea, and sometimes they tell me “it’s OK to leave your shoes on.” 99% of the time, I insist on taking my shoes off. I explain that in the house I grew up in in Canada (and most of my friends’ houses, come to think of it), we always took our shoes off at the door. When they understand that it’s the way I was raised, they don’t think I’m being snooty or distant. At least I don’t think they do.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:07 am
for sure it’s very different depending on where you grew up and what was considered normal. I actually do the whole “floor culture” too like Daniel says (I’m stealing that line - good stuff) and I feel more intimate with whomever I’m eating/drinking/watching movies with. granted, I still have a couch, but no coffee table - just one of those 6″ off the ground collapsible-leg Korean-style tables (geez, what are they called anyways?)
Even though I have a western-style bed, we keep it on the ground and it actually feels more comfortable that way - both physically and Feng Shui-y (making up words left and right, aren’t I?) But there are many times when sleeping on the floor is 10 times more comfortable than the bed.
May 29th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I grew up in a provice in Philippines and we always took our shoes/flip-flops off. We had bamboo and hardwood floors that we scrubbed with coconut husks pedipulate-ly after manually applying ‘floor wax’. This was done monthly. It would be very rude to walk over the floor with shoes on! We still take our shoes/flip-flops off before entering our (carpeted) home here in the US. Why? After all that ‘training’ I’ve grown to believe that shoes have no place inside a house. We have shelves in the garage just for shoes. Sorry about the unsolicited, non-Korean cultural lesson.
May 29th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
My husband is Algerian…very “floor culture”. And we take off our shoes, and think nothing of it. But it’s a little different sometimes, depending on the household.
Bare feet are not a problem usually. Sometimes Arab households keep a stock of “house shoes”, some for themselves and some for guests to borrow so they don’t have to bring their own. But guest house shoes end up being old, and not as, uh, pleasant as the family’s own, and rather oversized to fit a range of possible visitors! So I make sure I’ve got socks with me at least. I usually have an idea of whom I’m visiting and what footwear they might have in store for me, and can prepare.
Our habits have caused my daughter to want to kick her shoes off the minute she enters almost any private dwelling - much to my dismay! I’m always hollering at her to “put them back on, this isn’t the place!”
May 29th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Is it a Eastern vs Western thing? Maybe it’s over-generalisation, but it seems that way to me.
I’m Chinese, and we always went barefooted in the house. When I was a teenager, I knew a friend whose family wores shoes in the house, and I was completely aghast at the thought of wearing dirty shoes and bringing all that outside dirt into the clean home! And in Hollywood movies, they sometimes flop onto their beds still wearing shoes, and I’m like “what!!” and “yucks!!”
But having said that, I still don’t understand why there’s a need for socks or house-shoes…
May 30th, 2008 at 6:02 am
BTW James - what do you mean unsolicited?
Your point of view is interesting particularly because it is from a Filipino standpoint. I’m also interested in how issues like no shoes/no socks are interrelated to others
And I totally hear you on the whole “training” thing. After a while, like most things, you just don’t think about it. You just do it because it’s ingrained.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Thanks, Matthew. I just wanted to inject an ‘other Asian’s’ take on the subject. I look forward to more entries from this category (How Koreans Do It). So interesting! I’ve ruined many a pair of sandals from leaving them outside. I wonder what other people think when they see 5 pairs of slippers on our doormat outside?
May 30th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I’ve got these mulberry trees right outside of my house. In the past two weeks, they have been dropping increasingly ripe fruit in increasing numbers. It’s gotten to the point where the sidewalk is stained blue and smells like fermented mulberry juice. I sometimes take my shoes off and sometimes don’t. It depends on how comfortable I want to become. I noticed as a consequence of this vacillation in shoe removing practice that I now have a nice track of blue mulberry juice stains on my tile floor leading from the door to the kitchen! Had I just stuck to always taking my shoes off i would not only have to sweep the floor less often, but I wouldn’t have a heavy-duty mopping job ahead of me.
June 2nd, 2008 at 6:04 am
I’m Western (Norwegian) and here you don’t wear shoes inside, either. I can’t explain why, but I really dislike the thought of wearing shoes inside. Unless it’s the day before I clean, when the floors are dirty anyway.
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:20 pm
We are definitely a shoes-off-inside household. My dad, on the otherhand, insists on wearing his shoes when he comes over so we always have to clean up after him when he leaves. Dad’s prerogative, I suppose.
June 3rd, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I am living with a Korean family now and when I first came here, I was surprised that the whole family gravitated to the floor rather than the sofa, often eats meals at the low table in the living room instead of at the kitchen table.
They sleep on the floor, and I have been doing the same for the last 10 months.
I have to say, now sitting on high furniture feels unnatural. I forget what a bed feels like.
Witnessing this at home makes it absolutely obvious why it is highly undesirable to wear one’s shoe’s inside. I noticed that most Korean’s homes I’ve been in are much much cleaner than mine was at home. And suddenly I had an image of me as a kid, too lazy to take off my shoes, running through the house with them on. No wonder there is a difference!