KoreanClass101.com Blog

this past week, harrie/증진 (the boy i tutor) graduated from my preschool, and i will now only see him on wednesdays when i tutor him at his house. sad. i didn’t see him for a whole week and i was so excited on my way over to his house today, but when i got there, he was in an awful mood. he did not want to study, he did not want to play an english game, he did not want to read the book i brought with me, he kept saying “i no play you (i’m not playing with you),” and pouting. he even told me to shut up and called me stupid! his mom had to come over and talk to him, but he still didn’t listen to her. finally, he broke down completely sobbing and we had to stop for the day. after that he wouldn’t even eat dinner!

a little while later his 8 year old brother came home (harrie is 5) and he heard me and his mom talking about harrie’s behavior. he was so upset with harrie for acting like that toward me that he started yelling at him in korean and was threatening to hit him. their mom had to separate them.

i bring up all of this to say that in general, i think that korean children are much more respectful than american children. i think all children have bad days (like harrie today - he is not usually like that), but i haven’t met an american 8 year old boy that would reprimand his own brother’s behavior like i saw today. from a very young age, korean children learn to differentiate 반말 and 존대말. i’ve seen very young children reprimanded for not speaking properly to adults.

respect is so much a part of korean culture that it is even built right into the language. i think this is part of the reason why korean children are generally more respectful than american children. the family unit has much more value in korean culture than in american culture, and i think that makes a big impact as well. the most respectful american children i’ve met came from very strong and caring families…

please don’t get me wrong, i am not saying that all american children are awful or that all korean children are perfect, i am just speaking from my observations. does anyone else have any thoughts on this? or perhaps other reasons why korean children seem to be so well behaved?

and just to make my blog more korean, the phrase i used the most today:

공부 해야 지~

i’m getting good at using this ^^ know what it means?

You could ask an eight-year-old the difference between Koreans and Americans/Brits/Aussies/Canadians and receive one of two answers:

1) 몰라

2) You have to take your shoes off inside.

It’s funny to me because this seems so simple. Just take them off. But perhaps there’s more to it.

Oh there’s about a million blogs, polls, forum posts, wikipedia articles, and freshman-level essays on the subject and history of taking shoes off, but what about the dilemma of when to take them off? Is it possible to offend someone by taking your shoes off when it is simply not necessary? Oil and wax papered floors are gone. Steam carpet cleaners are in. Why do we still do it?

For that matter, flip flops are also a hot little topic, aren’t they? I’m here to tell you that I have man-feet. They are pretty horrific. Out of respect for all people I refrain from ever wearing flip-flops in public. I’m doing you a favor - trust me. But why is that such a problem, really? In a Korean home, I can usually just pop off my shoes and call it a day but some more traditional homes mandate socks. Clean socks at that. Free spirited people not content with the mainstream who prefer a sockless lifestyle might find great discomfort in the square Korean society that favors cleanliness over freedom of foot.

My nephew is 1/4 Korean. His observations are the stuff of poetry. He once asked a question while at my mother and father’s house “이모부, why are you not taking your shoes off? We gotta take our shoes off inside.” He’s got a point - it’s America - why don’t I take my shoes off at my parent’s house? I do at my in-law’s house and my own home so why not there? In an American household where you might be the only one doing so, it might come off as snooty or distant; comparable to using 존댓말 with your younger sibling. However, the reverse may be true if you are the only one who leaves your shoes on.

Ask a disgruntled 외국인 as to why Koreans take their shoes off and responses range from “Because they’re snobby”, “Because Korea’s so dirty”, to “Because they will get arrested if they don’t”. It’s too bad, you know. There are such bigger and better things to get bent out of shape about

I don’t know why we still take off our shoes inside. Conformity is an admirable trait among Koreans so perhaps that is one reason. Tradition is another reason that is better left unchallenged in most cases. Just how wild and crazy is it to be the one person upset about taking off shoes when one enters a home? Sorry all. I don’t have an educated answer. All I can tell you is maybe Koreans had me in mind when they prefer socks over bare feet.

Thoughts?